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The first year is the hardest.

July 16, 2012

They say that about everything; the first year of marriage, the first year of high school/college, the first year after someone dies, etc. And so today it’s been exactly one year since my Nana died. It seems so weird to me that just a little over a year ago, she was here with me and enjoying these. And then in the blink of an eye.. she was gone.  I still miss her everyday, but it has gotten a lot better. I can think of her and laugh, and smile, and not feel that sharp, debilitating pang of grief when I pick up something that was hers or see a photo of her. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. I still miss her terribly, and I know that probably won’t ever go away.

But at least now I can think of her and be happy, or at least not cry… and most of all feel lucky that I knew her, that I lived with her my entire childhood and that had her in my life for almost 30 years. And I’d like to thank all my readers and friends who were so supportive and loving when I really needed it, not to mention patient with me when I temporarily lost my mind and didn’t know what to do with myself. I appreciate you all.

I ask two things of you today: one, be nice to an elderly neighbor/family member/friend/even stranger. Just do something kind for them, whether it be calling in to check on them or helping them carry groceries or bringing them cookies or a cake. And two, have a cup of tea in my Nana’s honor. Think of her (even if you didn’t know her) while drinking it. Those are the two best tributes I could ask anyone to give her.

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I love you & miss you, Nana. ♡

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  1. I had tea yesterday! And I am glad we made it through the first year. I just started being able to wake up from dreams without crying, but I still cry when I think of Maman, and all the things we used to do. You are amazing and keep being a rock star at life <3

  2. Aww ❤ I still tear up, but I can control it now. I try to think of her at times when its okay for me to tear up a little. I don’t think that’ll ever change. Isn’t hard to believe though, when you think about it, that they were here with us just a little over a year ago? It makes my heart ache.

    YOU’RE amazing and a rock star! And I am going to try and make those egg rolls soon, but it’s been so hot & I haven’t wanted to fry anything 🙁 But I can’t wait!

  3. EVERY TIME I DRINK TEA I THINK OF HER AND HOW HONORED I WOULD HAVE BEEN TO HAVE SOME WITH HER. SHE LOOKS SPIFFY IN EVERY PCTURE YOU’VE POSTED OF HER. I CAN IMAGINE HOW FUN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TO SIT AND TALK WITH HER.

  4. Yoyo she loved you! She had a pouch in her nightstand with all her rosary beads & stuff in it, and a tissue holder in her bag all the time.Not to mention the pocket prayer quilt. She was a riot… you would’ve had a great time with her.

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