In honor of the month of love, I decided to share with you one of my latest creations: a tasty little jar of hearts.

Right now you may be thinking, “The song by Christina Perri?” or maybe you’re thinking “A jar of artichoke hearts? Hearts of Romaine? Celery hearts?” and the answer to all of those would be a resounding no. It’s a different kind of heart. And nope- it’s not an animal heart either. Okay, so it’s not really a jar of hearts at all. It’s a jar of preserved whole strawberries in a light syrup. The reason I decided to call them a jar of hearts is because when I picked up the jar to label it, I noticed the strawberries looked like little hearts. Perfect for this time of year.

See? That’s totally a little heart!

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It really looks like hearts! That shit right there is so Snow White. I felt like the evil Queen Grimhilde surveying the heart of my enemy in a jar. Creepy, I know. Sorry. Too many fairy tales thanks to Grimm & Once Upon A Time. But it can also have a romantic spin. Hearts, love, etc. Remember back in the day there was a dude on The Real World (this was when it was still cool, so it must have been the first 5 minutes it was on) who’s girlfriend sent him a pig heart for Valentine’s Day? No? Whatever. This is far from a pig’s heart.

I had a few strawberries left over from a little experiment I had to do (more on that in a week or two) so I decided to do this. I couldn’t let them go to waste; they were perfect, huge, beautifully colored fresh strawberries. And I had already used them in the more obvious capacity (like I said, more on that at another time), so this was the only unique thing I could come up with to do. It was really easy too. They make a perfect ice cream, oatmeal or cheesecake topping & they’d be smashing served with some soufflés, not to mention the syrup is great for putting in ginger ale/seltzer/7-Up as a flavoring, or for making cocktails. It’s like an alcohol-free shrub (though it certainly could be made into one with alcohol, if you’re so inclined, there are tons of great ideas here). Or you could just add a little alcohol to it, & it’s an instant party. These are the things I think about. I’m a sicko, right?

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Alright so now you’re probably wanting your own jar of hearts, possibly to give your significant other? Perhaps even just because the thought of telling nosy people who ask you what you got/gave, “Oh, I just gave ‘em a jar of hearts” amuses you? Well, all you have to do is this: take your strawberries (fresh, not frozen) & wash them. Then remove the hulls. Put them in a large saucepan & coat them in granulated sugar, just enough so that each berry has a nice coating & there’s enough sugar so that you don’t see the bottom of the pot. Let it sit, covered, for 3-5 hours. Then turn the heat up to medium high & with a wooden spoon, continuously stir to avoid scorching. The sugar & the liquid that had seeped out of the berries should combine to create a thick syrup. Take care while stirring to not break any of the berries, you want them whole (but if little pieces here & there separate or break off, that’s okay). Cook long enough so that the berries are cooked through or else they’ll float in the jar (this happened to me, even though I was sure they were cooked through). Once it’s ready, using a slotted spoon, scoop out the berries & put them in a hot, sanitized jar. Then pour in enough syrup to cover, leaving about ½”-inch headspace. Seal & process for 10 minutes in a water bath, and allow to cool in the water. If you have any syrup left over & no berries… that’s where the strawberry syrup comes in!

If you’d like to add some liqueur to it, maybe some vodka or maybe some vanilla bean, then do so. If you don’t add any liquid, add a little water if needed to fill whatever size jar you want to use for your syrup. Bring to a boil & then pour into a hot jar & process it, again for 10 minutes. Allow both jars to cool & check the seals. If they didn’t seal, use immediately & refrigerate. I did both of these at once & processed them together, then let them cool in the water bath overnight. I removed them, checked the seals, dried them & labeled them appropriately. Yes, I design & print my labels myself.

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This is not a USDA approved recipe, but the incredibly high sugar content & the fact that I only made a half-pint of berries & 4oz. of syrup -both of which will be used fairly quickly- didn’t make that an issue for me. If you’re concerned, take appropriate measures, but I don’t really see any reason to be concerned. Once the berries themselves are done, the remaining syrup in that jar will be used just as the separate syrup. On ice cream, yogurt, cheesecake, pound cake, as a cocktail mixer or in seltzer or soda water. Waste not, want not. Although I doubt any of this will go to waste. As a matter of fact… it is so incredibly delightful as an ice cream topping, you wouldn’t believe it. Yes, I said delightful. Especially over a homemade French vanilla bean ice cream.

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Mmm. Ice cream with fresh hearts.

The only warning I can give here is to avoid white clothing. I did, but I have white dish towels & somehow, I guess from spatter & the drips from the spoon, it ended up looking like Dexter Morgan was playing around in my kitchen. I wish. Well, not necessarily that he was killing people in my kitchen, but it’d be pretty awesome if Dexter was hanging out in my kitchen. He’s the bee’s knees; I can’t believe it took me so long to watch that show! I’m officially obsessed now. So yeah, anyway, keep an eye out for that, ’cause white can be bleached- yes- and that’s why it’s perfect for lab coats & chef’s coats & dish towels. But if you’re wearing that really nice light colored apron or your favorite white t-shirt while you make this and then bam- you’ve got a strawberry blood splatter problem, you might not feel as flippant about it. Remember, extra strength Hefty bags, gloves & tape. No… wait… I meant dark-colored aprons or clothing. That other stuff is for making a different kind of “hearts in a jar.” Which you could also do, really, depending on your level of childhood trauma or who you’re planning on gifting.

So now you too can have a jar of hearts in your pantry without being a creepy Disney-villain type. Even though I sort of am a creepy Disney-villain type, myself. I kinda like the witch who lives in the house made of candy, don’t you? Although I don’t want to lure any kids there to do terrible things. I just wanna sit on a marshmallow couch with a buttercream pillow & watch TV.

Your kids are safe with me.

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‘Tis the season of hearts. It seems as if everywhere I’ve gone since shortly after New Years’ Day, I saw hearts & chocolate hearts & heart-shaped lights & heart-shaped boxes… it’s a good thing I love Valentine’s Day (& the color pink) or else I’d get homicidal. But I do love it all. See, people have this idea about me that because of appearances or my general likes/dislikes that I’m going to be this angry person who hates this terrible “Hallmark holiday.” In reality, that’s far from the truth. I love any & all excuses to cook & bake & decorate with all my vintage stuff, not to mention the fact that the color scheme for this one is kinda delicious. Anyway, it’s February 1st, and that means there are just 2 weeks until Valentine’s Day. Yup, just 2 measly weeks to fit in all the hearts, lace, red & pink that you can stand, then shove it down your throats until February 15th, and then I’ll stop.

So until the 15th of February… suck it up. Even the biggest anti-Valentine’s Day person (if that’s you, you’ll want to make these cupcakes then) can enjoy a double-layer cherry-on-top cupcake, or cookie, or whoopie pie, or cake pop, or some risotto made with red wine. Last year I did a round-up of my favorite cupcakes, too, but of course there are more to include now. So here’s the start of my Valentine’s Day Fairy Tale… just a few ideas to get you in the mood, so to speak. Click each picture & you’ll be magically transported to the recipe!

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If you’re going to go the Fairy Tale route this Valentine’s, Black Forest cupcakes are especially perfect, because Snow White originated in & was said to be written about the Black Forest in Germany. All that fairy tale stuff is what Valentine’s Day is made of, isn’t it? All you need is some pretty pink cupcakes with a cherry on top, a fancy dress & some birds tying ribbons in your hair & you’re ready. Some of us may be attracted to the Maleficent’s instead of the princesses, but that doesn’t mean we can’t like the color pink, or Valentine’s Day, or cupcakes. Sometimes the harder you try to portray yourself, the more anti-everything you say you are (even if it’s genuine), the more people think “yeah right”, & laugh at you. There’s no harm in liking things. So fucking lighten up a bit. And I hate everything, so take it from me.

On that note, I’ll end this post. But first you should also check out some of these recipes; while not all were specifically made for/are Valentine’s Day related, they can be adapted quite well:

Heart-shaped shortbread cookies dipped in chocolate

Chocolate whoopie pies with mint filling & a chocolate ganache

Double-layer chocolate & vanilla cupcakes

Red velvet cupcakes (always good for Valentine’s Day)

Anti-Valentine’s Day cupcakes of darkness (my cupcaking skills were immature back then)

Thumbprint cookies (use a red-colored jam or jelly)

Double chocolate pudding

Peppermint bark (includes ideas for making it “Valentine-y”)…

The best cocoa brownies (ever!)
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I’d say, “The End” but I’m afraid this is just the beginning of the Valentine’s-themed fun. Me & Lola are excited to get in as many rouge-colored desserts & condiments as we can for you guys, so stay tuned!

I’m sure by now if you’re a regular reader you know I’m part German. The German side of my family isn’t cloaked in mystery like the Irish side, and Germany kept pristine vital records (unlike the Polish/Russian sides) and those records are much easier to get than say, the Dutch, French & Belgian records or the even more mysterious “Alsace-Lorraine” family records (Alsace-Lorraine does not really exist as an actual place, therefore the records aren’t in any particular Alsace-Lorraine directory, but split between Germany & France). As you can also tell, I’m an amateur genealogist & I’ve spent the better part of the last 6-8 years doing my family history & tracing parts back to the 1100′s.

Of course, I love old pictures & all things antique & vintage so this kind of thing just feeds into that for me. Particularly the old family photos. And by old, I don’t mean like the ones you have of your grandparents in the 1940′s. I mean old as in the 1890′s.

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That’s my great-grandmother, Frances “Midge” Hebrank Sonnanburg, in New York around 1896, when she was just 4 years old. You can see an older picture of her here at my other ‘German’ cupcake post. Her father’s father was Albert, a German immigrant who joined the ranks of an all-German regiment, the New York 54th Infantry a.k.a. the “Barney Black Rifles” (Schwarze Yaeger) in the Civil War. He & his family were German, from Owingen, Hohenzollern, which was for a time part of Prussia but is now Germany, specifically Baden-Württemberg. Anyway, this is the stuff that makes me tick. Me & Jay do ancestry work for fun. We’re geeks. So my family history & my ancestry mean a lot to me. Where I come from is so important, I believe in order to know where you’re going you have to know where you came from.

Okay enough with my life story/family history there. If I tell you any more, I’ll be writing for another 4 days, have severe carpal tunnel & you’ll be able to do my family tree for me. Anyway Midge loved to cook & bake, as did most of her family. There’s a story I heard my whole life about how she made a specific kind of pudding or custard; it was apparently a big hit with my grandpa & his friends. They were begging her to make it, asking & asking until finally she explained that it used an awful lot of milk, which was expensive, especially during the Depression. So whattaya know, my grandpa’s friends waited the next day for the milkman to come & then snuck around & stole everyone else in the building’s milk delivery so Midge could make the pudding. So what does this have to do with cupcakes? Well, maybe I got my baking skills from her?

Or maybe I’m hinting that everyone who asks me for cupcakes should go steal some milk & sugar & eggs first? Hey, listen- the Cupcake Wars casting department e-mailed me… I’m a very important person.

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Of course, German chocolate cake, unlike Black Forest cake, is not actually German. Surprise! It’s named after the chocolatier, Sam German, who in the 1850′s created the dark chocolate for the company Baker’s Chocolate. The chocolate was therefore named for him and then, in turn, the cake, which was actually called German’s chocolate cake. But regardless, it’s synonymous with the word “German” now, and most people assume that means the country, so I’m just going to incorporate that into this post about my German family history & cupcakes. And kinda because the topping always reminds me of sauerkraut, which is decidedly German. I know that might gross you out but really… tell me it doesn’t!

Instead of using an actual recipe for German chocolate cupcakes, I just used my favorite chocolate cupcake recipe plus a coconut-pecan frosting. Mmm.

CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES

Makes about 18 cupcakes

Ingredients:

• 1 stick unsalted butter
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• ½ cup light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ cup buttermilk (room temperature)
• ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Cream butter, granulated sugar and light brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer.
2. Add 2 large eggs (one at a time) and beat each until thoroughly combined, then add chocolate & oil. Add (and alternate) flour plus baking soda with buttermilk (room temperature) plus vanilla extract.
3. Place cupcake paper into each cup of 3 muffin pans (each pan yielding 6 muffins). Then fill each cup about ¾ full.
4. Bake at 350° degrees for 20 to 25 minutes or until tester comes out clean.

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COCONUT-PECAN FROSTING

Ingredients:

What an interesting song to come on randomly as I was typing this post. Because I do. I like food. I like making it, I like eating it, I like talking about it. Me & Jay have long conversations about food sometimes. Planning meals; either making them or eating them out someplace. I just enjoy it. We both do; I was lucky enough to find someone who gets as excited over it as I do. And furthermore… I like creating it. I like making something from something else- that’s probably the artist in me talking, but making a totally different “thing” out of a lot of random things is amazing. Like how using a mess of powders & liquids to make a cake is insane, when you think about it. Or using lemon juice, sugar & pectin to make jelly. The chemistry & artistry of cooking/baking is what gets me, I think. Oh, and eating. Eating too.

Remember back a few weeks ago, when I got all those Meyer lemons? They looked a little something like this:

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If not, I suggest you refresh your memory. For the rest of you… well, back when I was going ‘Meyer lemon looney’ I also made some other things not included in that post. Specifically something pink. Pink jelly. Pink-colored Meyer lemon-cranberry jelly, actually. I can’t help it. I like pink… and I had to use up all those lemons, not to mention a half-bag of cranberries in my fridge!

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It’s actually just a Meyer lemon jelly, but it turns a pinkish-red when you add cranberries. Also, the cranberries kind of get suspended in it. So it’s very cute. And perfect for the upcoming month of pink & red. Ah, but we aren’t up to that yet, are we? Nope. But… there is a special giveaway happening in this post that pertains to pink & Valentine’s Day. What kind of giveaway? Well it just so happens to be for a handmade table runner! Yes, me & Yoyo from topstitch.org are doing a giveaway for a 100% homemade, handmade Valentine’s Day table-runner! If you remember the one she made me for Christmas, then you know it was super adorable & made a perfect showcase for my table decorations. Well this one is just as cute, if not cuter! Look:

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Even if you don’t like Valentine’s Day, how can you not like that? It’s pink! And red! And it has hearts! So… what do you have to do to win? Stay tuned, keep reading. The details are at the end of this post. Jelly first, people! Jelly first!

Funny thing is, long after after I made this but before I wrote up this post, the Hip Girl’s Guide to Homemaking blog posted a recipe for the same jelly! Except hers doesn’t have whole berries. Great minds think alike; or maybe the cliche I should use is that there is nothing new in the world? Either way, that’s another idea of executing the same basic concept. People ask me why I bother canning, well this is a perfect example. Have you ever seen Meyer lemon-cranberry jelly for sale in stores? No? Yeah me neither. Have you ever seen green coriander pickles for sale? Nope. How about candy apple jelly, have you ever seen that at Stop & Shop? Or gingerbread spice jelly? Nah, me neither. I rest my case. Although really, it goes beyond all that. There are tons of factors. The least of which being that it’s fun & enjoyable, and also much less wasteful. I mean, I got a ton of lemons from Molly & instead of letting them go bad by just letting them sit in a bowl looking pretty, I gave each lemon a new life: lemon curd, candied lemon peel, lemon cookies, and this jelly.

MEYER LEMON-CRANBERRY JELLY

Makes about 5 half-pints

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Meyer lemon juice (it took me about 9-10 lemons, they were on the small side)
• 2 tablespoons bottled lemon juice (for an acid boost)
• 3 ½ cups white sugar
• 1 ½ cups whole fresh cranberries
• 1.25 ounces Certo liquid pectin (about ¾ of a pouch)

Directions:

1. Juice the lemons and combine in a pan with bottled lemon juice and sugar. Bring to a boil for 1 minute.
2. Remove the foam on the top of the mixture and add cranberries. Cook until the cranberries “pop”, being careful not to get burned by any liquid sugar, then add the pectin. Bring back to a boil. Remove from heat.
3. Pour it into sterilized jars placed on a clean tea towel, wipe rims and place lids. The berries will probably all settle at the top, but that’s okay- don’t worry. Screw on the covers and turn upside down for 5 minutes. Turn the jars back over right side-up and allow to cool completely. After 12-24 hours make sure that the lids are sealed. Any jars not sealed, refrigerate & use immediately.

Because of all the acid, you don’t need to do a water bath for this recipe. Just be sure your jars & lids are fully sanitized. You will get some bubbles in there, just because of the addition of the floating berries & the flipping of the jars, but don’t worry. As long as your seals are good, you’re okay. If you feel as though you need to process it, then go right ahead. Just be sure to not over process it, because over-processing of jellies can cause them to darken and can make it soften so it won’t hold it’s shape and, well, it essentially can cease to be “jelly.” One thing to note: Meyer lemons are less tart than regular lemons. If you don’t have access to Meyer’s you can use regular lemons, but you will have to up the sugar amount slightly, maybe a half cup.

Oh- also, don’t overcook this jelly! Well, I mean, don’t overcook any jelly, but especially this one. You might be tempted to, but don’t. Between the lemon juice, packaged pectin & the pectin in the cranberries you’ll end up with a rock in a jar if you do. Seriously. You’ll end up with something similar to candy.

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I say it makes 5 half-pints, but I didn’t use all half-pints. I actually used a mish-mosh of jars I had around: one 8oz. quilted jar, two 4oz. quilted jelly jars (regular mouth), one 8oz. Collection Elite jar & two 8oz. Kerr wide mouth jars. I just love those Kerr wide mouth 8oz. jars. I can only find them at one Ace Hardware store near me, why are they so rare? Anyway, this would probably be excellent on scones- especially a cranberry orange scone. Although I bet it’d compliment honey oat scones well, too. We had it with roast chicken & it was pretty spectacular, so keep in mind the savory option, particularly with poultry. But hey, anything is good on regular ol’ toast too, right?

And as per usual, I had to come up with a cute way to label them.

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So in case you’re wondering, this wasn’t even the last of the Meyer lemons! I still had some left. There was much lemon pound cake, lemon cupcakes, lemonade, lemon water, dehydrated lemon slices & preserved lemons in my life. At least we know I won’t be getting scurvy anytime soon.

Okay… so now you’re wondering, how do I get your hands on that table runner? Easy. Go comment on this post at Topstitch.org. Yoyo will pick a winner via random.org on January 31st. So you have until then to enter… so go enter! Me & Yoyo will be doing this A LOT more this year, we’re gonna try to do 13 giveaways in 2012. So don’t hesitate to follow me & Yoyo on Twitter or become a Facebook fan of Cupcake Rehab to find out when the next giveaway will be.

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Opium used to be the big drug back in the day. I guess it was the crystal meth of the time, around the turn of the century/1920′s. It contains something like 12% morphine, and codeine & hydrocodone are derivatives of the same family of drug- hence the name opiates. It’s serious stuff. Laudanum was made from opium & alcohol & was used to treat a variety of stomach ailments fairly regularly back then. But in modern times, all we know about it is what we read from an Edgar Allan Poe story or William S. Burrough’s novels, not to mention glib pop culture references. We all remember that Seinfeld episode where Elaine’s urine test comes back positive for opium because she ate a poppy seed bagel, right? I always thought such a thing couldn’t happen, unless you eat 1,000,000 poppy seed bagels in one day. But I was wrong: eating poppy seed muffins, cakes or bagels can indeed land you in a heap of trouble. As a matter of fact, back in January of 2005, Anahad O’Connor wrote in the New York Times Science section that “eating just two poppy seed bagels heavily coated with seeds can result in morphine in a person’s system for hours, leading a routine drug test to come back positive… [therefore] because of this possibility, the federal government recently raised the threshold for opiates in workplace testing to 2,000 nanograms a milliliter, up from 300.” And by that reasoning, this cake could possibly get you fired from your job or make you lose custody of your kids. It’s loaded with poppy seeds. Loaded. Both in the cake itself and on top.

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Which is fine with me. I love me some poppy seeds. Poppy seed bagels are my favorite bagels ever. So when I was reading one of the (many, many, many, as you can see here) books I got for Christmas, Cake Ladies by Jodi Rhoden, and I saw this triple layer poppy seed cake with almond icing, I just had to make it. I never make cakes, as you probably know. This was an exception. It’s a huge cake: a pound of butter & a half-dozen eggs. But worth it. However… I ended up halving the recipe & making two dozen cupcakes instead. I know, I know.

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But it just seemed so big. So many eggs, so much butter, etc. And it is big, because if half the recipe makes two dozen cupcakes, the whole recipe must make FOUR DOZEN. That is huge. And crazy. And ¼ cup of poppy seeds is a lot of poppy seeds. It’s a wonder I didn’t get high off it. As far as the taste goes, they were pretty unique, I have to say. Very different, but I loved them. Cardamom, nutmeg, cinnamon, poppy seeds, almond extract & the tang from the vinegar-milk combination; all very subtle but what flavor! A surprisingly delicious winter cupcake. Moist cake filled with tons of warming spices, albeit subtle like I said, and then some crunch from the seeds. I topped them with the almond buttercream from the book and then some little flowers made of almond slices with poppy seeds for centers. Really cute, I thought. Next time, however, I’d make little red poppies out of fondant. ‘Cause that’d be doubly cute.

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Of course, I’m giving you the adapted cupcake version of the recipe that I made. For the full cake recipe, you’ll have to buy the book. Bwahahaha.

POPPY SEED CUPCAKES WITH ALMOND BUTTERCREAM ICING (adapted from a recipe by Lisa Goldstein of Celo, NC, from Cake Ladies by Jodi Rhoden)

Ingredients:

Cake:

• 3 large eggs, at room temperature, separated
• ¼ teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 stick unsalted butter, softened, at room temperature
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• ¼ cup honey
• 1 cup milk at room temperature
• 1 tablespoon vinegar
• 1 ½ teaspoons pure almond extract
• 1 ½ cups all purpose flour
• 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
• pinch salt
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• ½ teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
• ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
• a pinch of ground cardamom
• ¼ cup poppy seeds

Icing:

• 1 stick unsalted butter, softened, room temperature
• 2 ½ – 3 cups confectioner’s sugar
• ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• ½ teaspoon pure almond extract
• 2-3 tablespoons half-and-half (plus more if needed)

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350° F. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip the egg whites together with the cream of tartar on high speed, until soft peaks form. Set aside.
2. In a separate bowl of the stand mixer, this time fitted with the paddle, cream the butter, sugar and honey together until light and fluffy. While beating on low speed, add egg yolks, one at a time. Beat after each addition. Scrape down the bottom and sides of the bowl, and beat again until the mixture is smooth, light and creamy.
3. In a glass measuring cup, combine the milk, vinegar and almond extract. Set aside.
4. In a separate bowl, sift the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, cardamom and nutmeg. Add that mixture to the creamed butter mixture in three parts, alternating with the milk mixture, and mixing lightly but thoroughly between each addition, until ingredients are just combined.
5. Add the poppy seeds, folding them in by hand until combined. Quickly re-whisk the egg whites by hand if they’ve separated, then fold them into the batter gently, in three batches.
6. Add cupcake liners to muffin tins and fill each with batter, around two-thirds full. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in each cupcake comes out clean. Allow to cool 10 minutes in tins, then remove to wire rack. Cool thoroughly before frosting.
7. To make the icing, cream the butter and confectioner’s sugar together in the bowl of a stand mixer until it makes a thick paste. add and combine the vanilla & almond extracts. Then add the half-and-half, one tablespoon at a time, blending on low speed until fully incorporated.
8. Add more if needed to achieve a creamy, fluffy consistency. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the paddle, bottom and sides of the bowl. Re-mix until no lumps remain.

Excuse the frosting job on the back left one; I was trying to find the best way of doing it

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They came out really rustic-looking. So much so I almost wish I had one of those cake stands made of an old tree. They’d be so sweet on one of those. Dammit, I wish I had one now! I’m going to have to get my hands on some cut down trees & get Jay to start cuttin’ it up! He’s a big, handy fella. He can do it. Why buy when you can DIY!

If you’re looking for a unique recipe to try, this is it. It’d be fabulous as a triple layer cake, too, of course. And in case you’re wondering, I got a lot of cookbooks for Christmas, so you’ll be seeing a lot of recipes from them in the coming months. And I’m not into New Year’s resolutions so they’ll be loaded with butter & eggs & sugar. I’ve got to maintain my girlish figure somehow.

And if poppy seeds don’t interest you, later on this week there’ll be a post featuring a giveaway I’m doing together with Yoyo from Topstitch, so keep your eyes peeled.

Anyway, it happens, blah blah blah, whatever.

But it sucks nonetheless. I’m not used to failing, I usually go after what I want & get it, and the same is true for recipes, learning new things, conquering difficult concepts, etc. Examples: I was a straight A student (except that pesky math) who learned two years worth of Spanish in 1 week when I started a new school at 13, my teacher had me doing book reports in kindergarten to avoid being bored, I applied to ONE college which I was accepted to early & my first job was a paid intern at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. So yeah, failure sucks. But it sucks even more when it doesn’t quite work out the way you’re used to. Especially when you’re psyched on hanging your fangs on pecan pie in all it’s delicious sugary, syrupy glory… & you end up with a load of crap. Which is what happened to me shortly after this lovely picture. My lovely purple pie plate, my lovely & beautiful crust, and those lovely pecans all ready to go.

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I stress the loveliness of that picture, because that’s the last time it was lovely. It all went to hell in a hand basket after that… and I wasn’t even drunk (yet).

No, I lie, after the pie mixture was put into the crust, I placed the pecans in a beautiful pattern on top. That looked nice. Until it was finished baking. If I was religious at all I’d have sat there & said the rosary. That’s how awful it was. I cannot even bear to explain the mess I created. I couldn’t even take photos to show you, it hurt too much. Seriously, I’m not kidding. I spent all that time on the crust & the filling (and all that goddamn money on pecans which are like $600.00 an ounce!) only to have it end in misery. Add that on top of the cookie recipe I failed at a few nights before & you’ve got a recipe for a Xanax & whiskey-induced coma if ever I saw one. Am I fixating? Yes I am. That’s what I do when I fail at something: I fixate on it until I figure out why the hell I failed in the first place, and then I do it again the right way. But with both recipes (which were both two different desserts from two different books by two different authors, mind you) I cannot figure out where I went wrong. I did everything right. Okay, so maybe I’m not a pecan pie master. Should this really bother me? No. I make a gazillion other things every day, and most of them are insanely delicious & pretty damn aesthetically pleasing. But it does bother me. It really, really, friggin’ bothers me. And the cookies I failed at? I’ve made those before, with absolutely no problem. So what gives?

Alright, with all the problems in the world, I’m probably exaggerating & being slightly over-dramatic about a forkin’ pecan pie & batch of cookies. But this is a baking blog, where I talk about baking, and so that’s what I’m doing. I’m sure you bakers can relate to the frustration. Which is why I’m sharing this. I’ve never been one to shy away from my failures, I’ve always been honest about them. Some of them work out, some don’t. But I wanted to go into detail here because I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails lately regarding baking specifically, and some mentioned how they enjoyed my recipes a lot, even though their attempts “never come out looking as nice.” And to me, that isn’t even the point. The fact that it’s edible, it’s made correctly, it’s not spoiled & looks remotely attractive is the key. It doesn’t have to look 100% perfect, mine doesn’t! The enjoyment of the creation of it, the enjoyment of eating it, that’s what’s important. The decorating can be learned with practice. The fun of it is the creating. And who cares if it’s got frosting sliding off or they’re not perfectly domed!? You’re not on Cupcake Wars. A cupcake or cake or cookie that doesn’t look perfect is NOT a failure. Eat ‘em & your stomach will never know the difference. However, this pecan pie was not edible. My stomach could not have processed it unless I was a goat. I wouldn’t even mind, but this is my second attempt at a pecan pie. The first one was a different recipe, one by Emeril Lagasse, that I made last year or the year before and I wasn’t thrilled with it because it had chocolate in it. It also didn’t look very attractive, and I used a store-bought crust as a shortcut, so I was on the wrong path from the beginning. But at least that one was edible! This one could’ve been used to kill someone- well the crust, anyway. The middle of the pie was drippier than my 6th grade teacher. Ugh. I wouldn’t even have cared if it looked ugly as sin or had horns growing out of it, as long as I could’ve eaten the damn thing. Instead, into the garbage it went.

The point is, though, despite my fixating on this, it happens. It just does. Sometimes the stars aren’t aligned, sometimes the kitchen witch isn’t on your side, sometimes your neighbor puts a Hoodoo curse on you, and sometimes even the weather is against you. Whatever the reason, it just happens, and it happens to the best of us. So don’t let it get you down. Just toss it, smile, & move on to the next recipe. Which is exactly what I’m doing! As soon as I figure out what went wrong.

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See those books? Yep. I’ll be busy for quite some time. But really what else is there to do in the winter but read, bake & cook? Oh… and eat. So yeah. Two silly little failures aren’t going to ruin my fun in the kitchen anytime soon.

But I will say this: pecan pie can FUCK OFF.……. (Censor that, Lamar Smith)

]]> http://cupcakerehab.com/2012/01/failure-fixation-a-big-f-off-to-pecan-pie/feed/ 2 http://cupcakerehab.com/2012/01/good-golly-miss-molly-my-adventures-featuring-mollys-meyer-lemons/ http://cupcakerehab.com/2012/01/good-golly-miss-molly-my-adventures-featuring-mollys-meyer-lemons/#comments Sat, 14 Jan 2012 09:23:06 +0000 Marilla @ Cupcake Rehab http://cupcakerehab.com/?p=18309

Before I get into how awesome my friends are, I just wanted to show off a little bit, & brag about a pretty piece of design I did. My Facebook fans already saw it, but I figure showing it off on the blog couldn’t hurt. Stroke my ego, will ya? A few nights back I was sitting home one rainy, miserable night, drinking an Irish coffee, listening to Lady Gaga (see above) & playing around on Illustrator when this little beauty above just kinda drew herself. Isn’t it pretty? I love it. I call it “Holy Lola.” It’s already on my new business cards (which are currently being printed & cost me nothing but shipping, thank you Klout & Moo Cards), and I’m even contemplating getting it as a tattoo, but I was undecided at first whether or not to use it in a new blog design. Clearly, I made up my mind, as you can see there’s a whole new thing goin’ on here. If you’re not seeing it, clear your cache & refresh the page. Just a word of warning: it’s copyrighted, it’s my work, and if I find anyone stealing it or passing it off as their own… your face will meet my brass knuckles. Or at the very least, you’ll be at the wrong end of a strongly worded e·mail & public embarrassment, which coming from me is just as bad. Just ask Sharon Luann Swann Stallings or whatever her name was. Whatever happened to her, anyway, is she still stealing people’s cupcake photos, claiming they’re hers & promoting “her business” on Craigslist? Or did I totally scare her off the internet? What a lying little rotten egg she was (the last paragraph of this post explains that incident a bit).

But sometimes, you meet the coolest people on the internet. There are a lot of assholes, yes. You hear about it everyday on the news: people pretending to be other people, people scamming people out of money, people who stalk other people they don’t even know on the ‘net, fake charities that rip you off, sneaky bastards that find out via Facebook when you’re going on vacation then clean out your entire damn house, etc. But all that said- there are tons of really cool people out there too. I have a gazillion awesome friends, some of which I’ve known for 9+ years, that I’ve met on the interwebs. Really genuine & truly special people: Yoyo, Anna, Rain, Becky, Cece, Ari, Percy, Jamie, Heather, Joey, Melissa, Tania, Susan, Carlos, Lyns, Miemo and more who I probably forgot (but who are no less important!). Some of these people I’ve had relationships with for years & years. I may not talk to every single one of them as much as I did at one time, but I still love & adore them. They’re all cooler than your friends, I bet *wink* And then there are people I only know through their comments on my blog, like Pola, who is sending me a super special present via Amazon! People I don’t even “know” are kind enough to send me awesome stuff.

Which brings me to one of the many really cool people I’ve met more recently- Molly. Molly is a very sweet, very cool makeup artist & blogger (with a sweet tattoo) who’s originally from Alaska, but now living in Arizona. She’s got an adorable chihuahua named Ruca & a Meyer lemon tree in her yard. Lucky girl, right? Well, I guess if you live in Arizona it might not be as unusual as I feel it is. Do you know how hard it is to get your hands on Meyer lemons if you live in New York? No? Well it’s really friggin’ hard. Almost impossible. We get mostly Eureka’s, maybe a couple of Lisbon’s, even some Ponderosa’s. We never ever get any Meyer’s, and if we do, they’re snatched up super quick from the gourmet market & are never to be found again.

Meyer lemons are a sort of lemon-orangey hybrid from China that are really popular on the west coast of the U.S. but over here on my side of the world, not so much.

Citrus × meyeri, the Meyer lemon, is a citrus fruit native to China thought to be a cross between a true lemon and either a mandarin or common orange. It was introduced to the United States in 1908 as S.P.I. #23028^[1] by the agricultural explorer Frank Nicholas Meyer, an employee of the United States Department of Agriculture who collected a sample of the plant on a trip to China.^[2]

The Meyer lemon is commonly grown in China in garden pots as an ornamental tree. It became popular as a food item in the United States after being rediscovered by chefs such as Alice Waters at Chez Panisse during the California Cuisine revolution.^[3][4] Popularity further climbed when Martha Stewart began featuring them in her recipes.^[2]

Citrus × meyeri trees are around 6 to 10 ft (2 to 3 m) tall at maturity, though they can be pruned smaller. Their leaves are dark green and shiny. The flowers are white with a purple base and fragrant.

The Meyer lemon fruit is yellow and rounder than a true lemon. The skin is fragrant and thin, coloured a deep yellow with a slight orange tint when ripe. Meyer lemon fruits have a sweeter, less acidic flavor than the more common Lisbon or Eureka grocery store lemon varieties. The pulp is a dark yellow and contains up to 10 seeds per fruit.

So anyway, I saw a box of all the lemons she picked in a picture she posted on Instagram, and then I saw a photo of all the lemons in a bowl & I kiddingly (I swear!) said to send some my way. And like I mentioned in my last marmalade post, she did!

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So I got a big, beautiful box of them. As soon as I opened it, I was hit with the best citrusy, lemony-sweet smell ever. It was amazing. And so basically I went lemon crazy. I made lemon curd, marmalade, candied citrus peels, lemon chewies with glaze from The Cookiepedia, made lemon-infused water, etc. I didn’t want even one of these babies to go to waste. I even reserved some seeds to try & grow my own, despite this crazy feeling that won’t work well at all. But it’s worth a shot! Maybe I can get my very own mini-Meyer lemon tree, I heard that even tiny ones are pretty prolific with the fruit. And of course, I’m  sending Molly some of the treats I made as a thank you for her generosity. I even re-named the lemon curd after her (okay, so it’s just for blogging purposes, but still!).

Sometimes with my lemon curd, little pieces of the zest darken, or caramelize (I guess?)… I’m not sure why that happens, but it does. If it happens with yours, you can strain them out before ladling it into the jars. I like the zest in it, so I leave them in anyway. If you do leave ‘em in, you can always eat around the darker ones if they bother you, but they’re only little bits of darkened zest. Nothing harmful.

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Again, I stress that if you aren’t familiar with the process of canning, you read this thoroughly before starting. It isn’t difficult, but you have to take certain precautions to be safe. Sterilizing your jars/lids & knowing what you can preserve using a water bath & what you can’t is important knowledge to have if you’re going to be doing this. The lemon curd doesn’t have to be processed, it can be put in a jar or Tupperware and refrigerated or used right away (cake filling, etc). Most curd recipes you find aren’t suited for canning, they’re simply meant to be eaten right away. This recipe is (very slightly) adapted from the USDA Center for Home Preservation’s curd recipe, so I’m pretty confident it’s up to par.

MISS MOLLY’S MEYER LEMON CURD

Makes about 5 half-pints

Ingredients:

• 2 ½ cups sugar
• ½ cup fresh squeezed Meyer lemon juice
• ½ cup bottled lemon juice (or, alternatively, use 1 whole cup bottled & omit the Meyer juice if you’re super anal & scared about acid levels)
• ¾ cup unsalted cold butter, cut into small pieces
• 1-2 tablespoons Meyer lemon zest
• 4 whole eggs, beaten thoroughly
• 7 egg yolks

Directions:

1. Bring boiling water canner to a boil. Wash jars and lids in hot soapy water. Put lids in a bowl and cover with boiling water from the canner.
2. Combine zest and sugar in a bowl, mix well, and set aside for 20 minutes to let the flavors meld. Juice your lemons while the sugar & zest are coming together.
3. Prep your eggs by thoroughly beating the 4 whole eggs until they are light and airy, with little bubbles. Make absolutely sure there are no white pieces floating around still.
4. Separate seven egg yolks, and whisk them into the beaten egg mixture. Now combine all the ingredients in a medium-large non-reactive pot.
5. Now turn the burner on, very very low, and whisk. Incorporate the ingredients together slowly and consistently, avoiding high heat that could cook/curdle the eggs.
6. Once the butter has melted, turn the heat to medium and keep whisking. Eventually the mixture will thicken, and resemble the consistency of pudding. After another minute or two, the mixture will be thick enough that when you pull the whisk across the bottom of the pan, you will see the metal for a few seconds. That means the curd is starting to hold its shape.
7. Remove the pot from the heat. You can run the curd through a fine sieve at this point to remove the zest. You don’t have to do this, but some people find it gross, and you’re really just imparting the flavor from the zest to intensify the lemon-yness, so it isn’t needed if you don’t want it. Ladle hot curd into hot jars leaving ½″-inch headspace. Wipe jar rims clean and attach lids. Processed the jars for 20 minutes.

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When I was a kid, I always thought the color of curd & lemon meringue pie filling was from the lemons. Not true. The color doesn’t actually have much to do with the lemons, it’s due to the egg yolk, but this curd just so happened to have an amazing color pre-processing. So amazing I had to get a few shots of it. It became slightly paler after the waterbath & sitting overnight. I happened to get four half-pints (8-oz.) and two 4-oz. jars from this recipe, which equals 5 half-pints. And just like everything else I make, 5 out of those 6 jars were practically gone before they were even cooled!

This has a shelf life of 3-4 months, and if the harmless darkening in color doesn’t bother you, that can extend to up to one year. Of course it tastes best when eaten as soon as possible. You can also freeze it instead of processing it, or put it right into the fridge and use it right away. As far as what to do with it, you can swirl it into ice cream or frozen yogurt, use it as an ice cream topping, or put it on scones, muffins or toast. It makes a terrific cake or cupcake filling, an easy pie filling (basically that’s what lemon meringue pie is filled with) and it’s delicious on pound cake or angel food cake. Alternately you can just eat it out of the jar; that’s how my mother likes hers. Although sometimes she likes it on Toast-R-Cakes or English muffins too.

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Back in October, an extremely exciting thing happened to me. I won a set of Le Creuset mini cocottes from Susan at She’s Becoming Doughmesstic. This is doubly, triply, and quadruply exciting because of a few reasons: 1) I never win anything, ever, 2) I have a Le Creuset obsession 3) I was having a kind of shitty week at the time & so I needed the boost and 4) my pink pie plate was also expected to be delivered that week & I had just purchased a second pie plate so I had a lot of baking/cooking planning to do (re: those pie plates & the saga of the pies, see this post). That always makes me happy. I like planning what I’ll be making for the next 6 weeks. Or few days, at the very least.

The picture that drew me in…

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So there was this giveaway. A Le Creuset giveaway. As soon as I saw that picture I knew I had to enter- like I said, I have an obsession. And I never enter giveaways, ever. Mainly because I get so excited and then it’s a huge disappointment when I don’t win it. I sit there & think about what I’d do with it if I had it, what I’d make with it, etc. And it’s very sad when I’m not the winner. So it must have been kismet that I actually took the time to enter this one because I FREAKIN’ WON! Then I received them and they were even cuter than I anticipated.

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How cute are they!? They’re actually gorgeous more than they are cute. But because of their size (about 4″ across) they definitely have an element of the cute. Le Creuset makes the most amazing casseroles, dutch ovens, stock pots & griddles. If you’re unfamiliar with them:

Le Creuset is a French cookware manufacturer best known for its colorful enameled cast iron casseroles, which the company calls “French Ovens”, or “Dutch Ovens“. The company also makes many other types of cookware, from sauce pans to tagines, and sells a line of corkscrews and wine openers under the “Screwpull” brand.

Le Creuset was founded in 1925 in the town of Fresnoy-le-Grand in Northern France by two Belgian industrialists – Armand Desaegher (a casting specialist) and Octave Aubecq (an enameling specialist). The pair introduced the signature Le Creuset round cocotte (French/Dutch Oven) soon after; the cocotte remains the company’s most popular cookware piece to this day.

In 1934 Le Creuset introduced the signature Flame (orange) colored enamel on its cast iron cookware items. The company also invented the doufeu, a Dutch oven with a concave lid that is filled with ice during the cooking process.

After World War II, Le Creuset began to focus on exportation, and by 1952, 50% of all cast iron production was bound for the United States. In 1955 Le Creuset introduced its first grill model – the Tostador – and in 1956 a new color, Elysees Yellow, was introduced to great success.

In 1957, Le Creuset purchased its competitor Les Hauts Fourneaux de Cousances and began producing some signature Cousances cookware vessels, including the doufeu, a cocotte with a water lid, under the Le Creuset brand.

The current Le Creuset logo was introduced in 1970 and was designed to be a symbolic representation of metal casting and molding.

The company was purchased by current owner Paul Van Zuydam in 1987.

Anyway, yes, I won & Susan told me to pick the color (or colors) I wanted, and so I picked that set right there, called ‘Twilight’ which contains one each of a metallic pearl, metallic pewter & metallic black. And no, I did not pick the color scheme because of The Twilight Saga. I picked it because I love black, I have both black & white dishware, & I figured they’d go with anything. And this time I waited… I didn’t start planning what I was going to make as soon as I clicked ‘enter.’ However, as soon as I found out I won, my brain went into overdrive. I started thinking of what I could make in them that would do them justice. But try as I did, I just couldn’t think of any one thing that would be appropriate to make in these to break ‘em in. I thought of everything; sweet & savory. Mini chicken pot pies, individual size dips, baked individual French toast’s & Meyer lemon pudding cakes (all of which are still on my to-do list) were scrapped. After much thought (& some research, mucho thanks to the kitchn) I decided on something new & exciting for me- individual chocolate soufflés.

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Delicious, one-for-you-one-for-me chocolate soufflés with a soft, pudding-like center. No sharing. No slicing or serving. Everybody gets their own! Who the eff wants to share? No one. That’s why cupcakes are so popular. Sharing is for suckers.

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That last photo, directly above, was the first out of the oven- you can see it’s the highest.

I never made soufflés before, and I was admittedly a bit afraid. I heard that they were tempermental, etc. I heard Julia Child & Jacques Pépin talk about them & it always seemed intimidating. And I guess they can be, perhaps on a larger scale. I’ve heard stories of collapsing middles, soufflés that just never rise, etc. But these little ones were surprisingly easy to make, came out textbook perfect & were very delicious. Of course, keep in mind: you wait for soufflés- they do not wait for you. You eat them immediately, or they deflate as they cool. Of course they’re still edible… but they aren’t nearly as impressive. And by deflate, I mean actually deflate; the pretty tops that rise so high & majestic just sink back down, and it happens within a matter of minutes. It’s a “serve hot” type of dish. If you’re a few seconds late to the table, you’ll miss the awesomeness.

INDIVIDUAL CHOCOLATE SOUFFLÉS (adapted from Martha Stewart by moi)

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
• ⅓ cup granulated sugar, plus more for ramekins
• 3 large eggs, room temperature, separated (whites & yolks)
• ⅛ teaspoon cream of tartar
• 5 ½ ounces bittersweet chocolate (70% cacao), chopped
• ⅔ cup whole milk
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 ½ teaspoons cornstarch
• ⅛ teaspoon salt
• 3 tablespoons creme fraiche or sour cream
• Confectioners’ sugar, for dusting

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400° degrees F. Brush four 7-ounce ramekins generously with the butter; coat with granulated sugar. Whisk whites with a stand mixer until frothy, about 2 minutes. Add cream of tartar; whisk until soft peaks form. Add the ⅓ cup granulated sugar; whisk until medium peaks form, about 5 minutes.
2. Set chocolate in a bowl. Whisk milk into cornstarch and salt in a saucepan. Bring to a simmer. Cook, stirring, until thick, 1 to 2 minutes. Whisk in chocolate until combined, then whisk in yolks and creme fraiche. Transfer to a large bowl. Gently fold in egg whites.
3. Fill ramekins evenly with batter. Bake on a baking sheet, rotating halfway through, until soufflés rise but centers are still liquid, about 14 minutes.
4. Remove pan holding ramekins from the oven gently. Dust soufflés with confectioners’ sugar, and serve immediately with fresh berries & whipped cream, if desired.

Can I just say one thing? AMAZEBALLS. That’s all. That’s the one thing. Just amazeballs. They rose just right, I was extremely impressed with myself! This recipe for me made the three Le Creuset mini’s plus three 4″ ramekins.

Once they start to cool, the centers firm up a bit.

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This was the best introduction I could’ve given my little Le Creuset’s; a decadent French-inspired dessert that showed them off. And let me just say, they were nowhere near as scary or tempermental as people say. But whatever you do, don’t let their reputation scare you. All you have to remember is that they’re to be eaten immediately, you can’t wait on these. You make them, serve them right the hell away, and that’s it. Don’t mess around.

Also, if you can be patient & plan your meal & plans around them, they’d make a Valentine’s Day dessert that’s sure to impress & take anyone’s breath away. Nobody has to know how crazy easy they are to make. And really, why the hell would you tell them? Screw ‘em. Let ‘em think it took you tons of prep & hours of sweat.

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Ugh. That sucked. Needless to say, weather like that makes it hard to even get out of bed. Thankfully temps rose back up to the high 40′s again, but I know that won’t last forever. And so sometimes in the winter, you need a burst of sunshine. That can come from many sources, but in this particular instance… I’m talkin’ citrus. In particular, I’m talkin’ citrus marmalade. Lemon-orange, to be exact.

Nifty jar decorations, right? More about that later…

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However… another little burst of sunshine whose sure to warm you up on a cold day is Remi. Remi is a sweet little miracle dog that my friend Ariana (& her man Elliott) saved off the street. Poor Remi is less than a year old, has terrible mange & is pretty underweight. He was found a few days before Christmas & taken to get some medical care that Ari used her Christmas bonus to pay for. Ari & Elliott made the decision that they’d stop at nothing to help this dog, even if they weren’t going to keep him. Remi has his own blog now, where they’ll be posting updates. If you’d like to help out with medical expenses, etc. then by all means feel free to contact her. I’m sure it’d feel great for you to start the new year off by helping someone else. What better on a freezing cold winter day than the story of a dog who was thrown away, who had a sad life on the streets, being given a bright future?

And not only that, but how about some bright, zesty, citrusy shots of marmalade to make you think of sunshine? Yep, they’re both pretty great ways to remind you that all is not cold & dreary this time of year. I’ve certainly made marmalade before, but those had extras added in. This is a true citrus marmalade: just lemons, an orange, sugar & water.

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The principle behind marmalade is stupid easy. It boils down to a math equation, really, which I suck at… but luckily there are all sorts of iPhone/iPad apps & Internet web pages that can steer you in the right direction. Not to mention the good ol’ calculator. Thanks to this webpage, I now have a perfect marmalade-equation ready to be scaled down or up at a moment’s notice depending on who it’s for or how many/what size jars I have. I happened to make 3-4oz. jars of this lemon-orange marmalade using their method & this base recipe (except I used one large orange as well as a few lemons). You can add limes, grapefruit, clementines, etc. I got a shipment of Meyer lemons from the awesome Molly last week & I am totally psyched to marmalade the shit out of them. But that’s another post…

Drippy marmalade.

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‘Cause see, truth be told I made this back before Christmas, and I just now opened it. The color & texture of this marmalade is just gorgeous. And the smell! Fuhgeddaboudit. It seems now that the little 4oz. jars I used were barely enough. I sorta wish I’d made more. Oh well.

Anywho, the concept is so easy it’s practically silly to cry over not making enough when I can make it in a snap any time. Here’s the basic idea just as it is, directly from Evil Mad Scientist:

The peels need to be cut into little slivers for the appropriate texture in the marmalade. If you stack up the pieces, you can cut a bunch at once.
Many recipes recommend removing the white pith because it is bitter. Other recipes recommend removing the pith and reserving it, cooking it along with the fruit in a cheesecloth bundle and removing it at the end, presumably to allow extraction of the pectin. Many jam and jelly recipes call for pectin to be added, but it isn’t needed for marmalade because of the amount of pectin already present in the skin and pith of the citrus fruit.
Some recipes call for a blanching or soaking stage. The primary purpose of blanching is to remove the bitterness from the pith and peel. We like bitter marmalade, so we left in most of the pith and didn’t soak or blanch the peels or fruit. That also keeps the recipe simple– just slice up the fruit and throw it in the pot with the peel pieces.
The fruit and peel are cooked in water until they’re good and soft. It takes a while (about an hour), but once you’ve got a nice simmer going, you can ignore it pretty well.
The sugar goes in. Lots of sugar. The original recipe calls for 4 cups of water and 4 cups of sugar (with ten lemons). The 4 cups of water barely covered the raw fruit (in a saucepan with roughly equal depth and diameter). For scaling the recipe up or down, you can use that as a rough guide: pour in water a cup at a time until the fruit is almost covered, then once everything’s soft add as much sugar as you did water. Stir in the sugar, and bring it up to a boil, stirring regularly.

You can add things too, of course. Star anise, cloves, a cinnamon stick, a tablespoon or two of whiskey or Grand Marnier, maybe even a little brandy, etc. You can 100% personalize the basic marmalade recipe to do amazing things. Anyway at this point, after it boils, using a candy thermometer you make sure it reaches 220° degrees (if you’re planning on making jellies & marmalades a lot, or if you’d like to venture into candy making at all, a thermometer is a must have item). Then let it boil it at 220° for a full minute. When the minute is up, test the set (there are numerous ways of doing this). If it hasn’t set, keep boiling. Eventually it will achieve the set & you can proceed with canning it.* I’d recommend processing for 10 minutes in a water bath canner, although many old fashioned marmalade recipes just require sterilizing, filling then sealing the jars. Better safe than sorry I guess, even with the high sugar content.

*Here I will state that I have read that sometimes marmalade can take up to 2 weeks to set. I never had such a problem, my marmalade has always set immediately.

If you’re wondering what exactly you can do with marmalade, besides using it on toast: you can use it to glaze a roast chicken or ham, melt it and use it to marinade shrimp, use it to make cupcakes or cake, use it as a glaze over warm pound cake, making muffins with it, whisk it into a vinaigrette to use as a salad dressing, etc. Once you use your imagination you can come up with tons of ways to use it! I ended up with a lot of jars of this since the summer, and of course I had to dress them up; using raffia & dried orange & lemon slices. I only show two jars because, well duh, I had to open one to eat it!

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Winter outdoor shots are always fun. Especially when it’s freezing cold. But when you’re looking for a rustic look, you’ve gotta go the extra mile… or whatever. At least it wasn’t snowing! Although come to think of it, snow would’ve made a prettier backdrop. Anyway, the dried citrus fruit slices are incredibly easy to make, & make perfect decorations for anything: for decorating jars of marmalade, for tying on to a Christmas tree with ribbons, for decorating a gift (wrapped in brown Kraft paper with twine) or for hanging in a kitchen. Also they can be eaten, as any dried fruit can be, pulverized & the powder sprinkled on foods, or put into a jug of water for instant rehydration and flavoring. It takes a lot of time (unless you have a food dehydrator) but it’s worth it!

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All you have to do is slice the fruit as thin as you can, preferably ¼” thick. Pat them dry with paper towels & gently press out as much juice as possible from each slice without ruining the shape. Either use a food dehydrator or put a cooling rack over a cookie sheet & bake them in the oven; 275° degrees F for the first two hours and then 250° degrees F for the next 2-4 hours. If they’re still not dry (test by “squishing” the pulpy part, if it’s moist or juice squirts out, they aren’t fully dried yet), then leave them on the rack in the oven & put the oven on the ‘warm’ setting (about 200-220°) for another 2+ hours. The least moisture left in there the better, especially if you’re using them for decorating. If you’re using them for food purposes, they can be less dry. Unless of course, you plan on storing them long term; then the less moisture the better. There are many different ways of doing it, mainly differences in time/oven temperature (Martha’s way differs from mine slightly, as do these directions) yet they all work equally well.

The best ones in my experience are limes & grapefruits. They both slice perfectly & never end up with holes or gaps when they’re finished drying. However, if you’re careful cutting them, they all look gorgeous once they’re finished. If you’re really nice, & after you used yours to decorate jars or gifts, & you’ve got a few left that aren’t looking that great or aren’t as perfect… try hanging them outside for the birds! I also heard that cats don’t like citrus fruit, so if you have a problem with strays marking your yard it might be worth a shot anyway (obviously on low-lying branches). My cat doesn’t seem to mind it at all, but she’s an anomaly. Tinfoil doesn’t frighten her either.

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My next mission is to make some lime marmalade & tie a bunch of slices of dried limes to each jar, with green ribbon & instructions for using the slices long after the goods are gone. Sounds good, right? I haven’t made lime marmalade yet.

And in case you’re wondering- my pantry has exploded in the past 6 months. Actually, I’ve given away a lot… especially just recently at Christmas, but currently what’s there is plenty (yes, there was more than this): lemon-orange whiskey marmalade, c-lemon-tine marmalade (all clementine & just a bit of lemon), one lone jar of habanero pickles (the only pickles that seem to not be grabbed at too quickly, hence the fact they’re still here!), champagne jelly, gingerbread spice jelly, candy apple jelly, vanilla-brandy chestnut jam, basil jelly, habanero rosemary jelly, pickled red & green tomatoes, peppers in oil (& some in vinegar), Earl Grey’s nectarine preserves, Van Gogh’s strawberry jam with chocolate liqueur, vanilla vodka cherry preserves, fresh tomato salsa, amaretto cranberry sauce, mint jelly, caramel apple syrup, canned peaches in syrup, one jar of Lady Grey’s lemon & tea marmalade and last but certainly not least- a few jars of Meyer lemon curd (recipe to come!). Whew. Sorry I don’t have recipes for all of them posted. But I think you’re smart… you can figure ‘em out. Google is an amazing thing. Plus with amazing resources like Punk Domestics, Food in Jars & Hungry Tigress right at your fingertips, you’re golden.

If you’re thinking about getting into canning, I suggest you start off with a case of pint jars, the Ball Blue Book Guide to Preserving, some vinegar & some cucumbers & start off making pickles, then graduate to giardiniera or other pickled veggies, then to easy fruit-based stuff like canned peaches or blueberry or raspberry jams. Save the more complex jellies made with homemade or commercial pectin, more difficult jams & marmalades for later. Work up to them. And, if you’re looking to buy jars but aren’t sure of what size(s) you want/need, Food in Jars made a handy guide to the available Ball & Kerr jars; but keep in mind there’s Weck too, if you like a fancier look (for a much more expensive price). I’ve also heard of Better Homes & Gardens brand jars but never seen them (they’re made in China, FYI). I’d prefer to stick with Ball® or Kerr® myself. They’re made in the U.S.A., readily available, have a long history of doing it right & they’re affordable (which is important regardless of how much canning you’re planning on doing).

]]> http://cupcakerehab.com/2012/01/good-day-sunshine/feed/ 2 http://cupcakerehab.com/2012/01/viva-los-alfajores/ http://cupcakerehab.com/2012/01/viva-los-alfajores/#comments Tue, 03 Jan 2012 05:13:09 +0000 Marilla @ Cupcake Rehab http://cupcakerehab.com/?p=17092 Well Happy New Year, everyone. It’s 2012, we’re all another year older & the winter has officially dug in its heels. Its quite cold & blustery & the wind whistles like a Dickens’ inspired movie. So yeah- I’d say it’s wintertime. Apparently, it’s not going anywhere until the spring, so we just have to deal. Life should be enjoyed, as much as possible, despite (and maybe even because of) the miserably cold weather. And what better way to enjoy life than with cookies? This is another cookie recipe from The Cookiepedia by Stacy Adimando. Remember that book? I did a giveaway for it back in November. Pretty much as soon as I got it, I knew there would be four recipes I’d have to make immediately: the frosted maple pecan cookies (made those babies already), the pistachio cookies (still on the list), the pignoli cookies (I keep forgetting to buy almond paste so these are still on the list) and of course, the alfajores with dulce de leche. And those, my friends, are what this post is about.

I admit, I had no freakin’ idea what the hell an ‘alfajor’ was before this. But I’m not one to turn down making a delicious looking cookie. I don’t know how anyone could deny a cookie, let alone a shortbread-like cookie, let alone a shortbread-like cookie made into a sandwich with dulce de leche filling.

While they have origins in Moorish Spain, alfajores are especially popular in South America. They are simple shortbread sandwich cookies with a sweet filling of dulce de leche. Different doughs are used for the cookies depending on the country. Some use normal flour dough, while others add cornstarch or even cassava flour for a more delicate crumb.

- courtesy of whats4eats.com

Literally translated, dulce de leche means “sweet from milk”. It is prepared by slowly heating sweetened milk to create a product that derives its taste from caramelised sugar. It is a popular sweet in Latin America, where it is known under a variety of names. In Chile, Ecuador and Panama it is known as manjar. In Peru, Colombia and Venezuela it is referred to as manjar blanco or arequipe, depending on regional variations. In Mexico and Nicaragua is is commonly called cajeta. It is also found in Brazil, known by its Portuguese name doce de leite.

A French version, known as confiture de lait, is very similar to the spreadable forms of dulce de leche. A Norwegian version, Hamar-pålegg (“Hamar spread”), better known as HaPå, is a relatively thick and not so sweet commercial variant.

- Wikipedia

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Shortbread & caramel sandwiches. That’s basically what I said: “What the what?!” Insane. Insane goodness. They really are. And very easy to put together, especially since you can use store-bought dulce de leche with absolutely no problem. I however, used a clever little method that’s a personal favorite of mine to make a caramel-like filling using a boiled can of condensed milk. Mmm. This particular cookie recipe uses flour & cornstarch to create the perfect soft crumbly-ness that goes excellently with the thick caramel heavenly-ness in between it.

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ALFAJORES WITH DULCE DE LECHE (from The Cookiepedia)

Ingredients:

• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• ¾ cup cornstarch
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• powdered sugar, for dusting
• Dulce de leche, for filling

Directions:

1. Cream the butter & sugar together for a minute or two, until they look light & fluffy.
2. In the meantime, sift the flour, cornstarch, baking powder & salt in a bowl & set aside.
3. Add the egg & egg yolk one at a time to the butter mixture, mixing after each addition. Add the vanilla and mix briefly. Add the flour mixture & mix until the dough just starts to come together.
4. Working quickly, turn out the dough and use a little heat from your hands to make it a solid ball. Pull out a large piece of plastic wrap, then flatten the dough on top of it to make a disk. Double wrap it and refrigerate for 1 hour until firm.
5. Preheat oven to 325° F. Line several cookie sheets with parchment paper or Silpats®. Roll out the dough to ¼”-inch thick on a lightly floured surface. Rotate the dough between rolls to make sure it’s not sticking. Using a 2-inch fluted or round cutter, cut out cookies & carefully place them on the cookie sheets, placing them about 1 inch apart.
6. Chill the sheets again for 15 to 20 minutes, until the dough is once again very firm. Then bake for 8 to 10 minutes, until the tops of the cookies have just firmed & the bottoms are just starting to color slightly. Cool on wire racks before assembling the sandwiches.
7. Drop, pipe, or spread a teaspoon of dulce de leche into the center of each cookie, then top with another. Sift powdered sugar over the assembled sandwiches.

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These are perfect winter cookies. Filling, and sweet but not too sweet. Comforting. And like I said… easy. I know this time of year everyone is sort of taking a deep breath after the craziness of the holidays have ended. But these are definitely worth the little effort they require. Plus, who doesn’t like an excuse to have the oven on this time of year?

Okay so, on to the dulce de leche. The author recommends using an artisanal or high-end brand, herself. Like I said, I used a caramel-like substance made from boiling a can of condensed milk & it was amazing. Not everyone is as ballsy as I am, and that can be a dangerous method. So naturally use whatever your comfortable with, and whatever brand you like. Of course, you can also make your own dulce de leche (she gives a recipe- but you’ll have to buy the book for that one!). Let me also state that they’d work amazingly well with a jam or chocolate filling, as well as a chocolate coating.

And of course, the packaging has to match the spectacular nature of what it holds, right?

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My new favorite way of packaging cookies to give away is in jars. I started doing it with the first cookie recipe I made from this book, and it got such rave reviews I kept doing it. For Christmas, I gave tons of cookies, brownies & pieces of homemade fudge as gifts & most were in either tins or jars like the one above. This time, I dressed up the jar with an authentic vintage Air Mail envelope & some soft twine. I thought the name of the cookies was exotic enough that the envelope would be an appropriate label. These jars can be found in a lot of places, especially in plastic… the glass version like mine is a bit more costly usually, however occasionally you can get them for a good price. But you don’t have to just use flip-top jars. Even using quart or pint Ball® jars is an excellent idea- fill it up with cookies, put the lid on, cover the lid in a square of pretty fabric (or cupcake liner!), screw the band on, then tie on a label with some string or some ribbon & you’re good to go. They’re also great for giving chocolate dipped pretzel sticks or candied citrus peel because those items can be delicate.

So there you have it. Alfajores. Who’da thunk it?
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I made that image right there, just to brag. Can you tell I’m proud? And yes, you read that right, these jars are a Pimp That Preserve 2011 winner! Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Or in this case, champagne dinner? Whatever. So what does this mean? It means I pretty much rock the monkey. To quote the father from A Christmas Story, “It’s a major award!”

Anyway, enough bragging- let’s get to the jelly. Last year I did champagne cupcakes. They were awesome-sauce, but I hate repeats. Being that I was looking for a special New Years’ Eve snack or treat, I once again reached for that book that provided me with that deliciously amazing tea jelly; Canning For a New Generation by Liana Krissoff. In the book (which I love) she has a fantastic recipe for champagne jelly, and after the rousing success of the tea version, how could I not try it? Plus… it is New Years’ after all. What else would one have today but champagne.

The golden color was just so pretty. Actually, more like stunning. But let me make a confession- I used a dry white wine, not champagne.

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*gasp* I know, I know. I kinda lied & misled you. But since all my jars went so quickly, I plan on making it again very soon with real champagne (perhaps Cold Duck, just to get that pretty magenta color) but it doesn’t really matter either way, the flavor would be so similar at any rate. When added to the sugar, the difference probably wouldn’t even be noticeable. The wine I used was a dry, medium-sweet fruity wine called ‘Sweet Romance’ from the Mount Hope Winery in PA. The ‘Vidal Blanc’ they sell would’ve been amazing to use as well; it’s far drier & has a slight herbal taste. I used this wine that had been sitting in between the Jameson & the Stoli for over 3 years, waiting for its time to shine for a few reasons; one, back in 2008 when I bought it on a trip to PA I was more of a white wine fan- however I’ve grown to love reds & so haven’t had the urge for white in ages, two, I knew it was good wine so it wouldn’t fuck up my jelly, and finally three… this poor bottle was sitting, waiting for a special moment, for literally 27 months. Every other bottle we bought that day is long gone. It was time for this one to shine.

And shine it does. But any champagne would do smashingly, too, of course. I wouldn’t use the Cristal or even the Veuve Clicquot in this, personally, I’d save that for drinking. A cheap yet decent quality champagne is fine. The dryness is what makes the jelly so interesting, so if it’s extra dry, then great.

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By the way, I write this with the assumption that you know basic canning principles & practices. If not, please read this in its entirety before attempting it. It’s not difficult but you do need some “equipment” & knowledge before you begin.

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CHAMPAGNE JELLY

Ingredients:

• 1 (750 mℓ) bottle champagne, sparkling white or rosé or any dry-ish white wine
• 3 ¼ cups sugar
• 3 cups green apple pectin stock (see recipe here) or 1 package Certo liquid pectin
• ¼ cup strained fresh lemon juice

Directions:

1. Prepare for water bath canning: Sterilize the jars and keep them hot (in water) in the canning pot, put a small plate in the freezer, and put the flat lids in a heatproof bowl.
2. Boil the champagne/wine over high heat until reduced to about two cups, about 20 minutes.
3. Stir the pectin/pectin stock, lemon juice and sugar into the champagne. Bring to a boil over high heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture registers about 220° F on a candy thermometer or a small dab of it passes the freezer test (place some on the frozen plate and put back in the freezer for one minute, then remove; if the mixture wrinkles when you nudge it, it’s ready), about 25-30 minutes.
4. Ladle boiling water from the canning pot into the bowl with the lids. Using a jar lifter, remove the jars from the canning pot, carefully pouring the water from each one back into the pot, and place them upright on a clean, folded dish towel. Drain the water off the jar lids.
5. Ladle the hot jelly into the jars, leaving ¼ inch headspace at the top. Use a damp paper towel to wipe the rims of the jars, then put a flat lid & band on each jar, adjusting the band so it’s fingertip tight.
6. Return the jars to the canning pot in a canning rack, making sure the water covers the jars by at least 1 inch. Bring to a boil, and boil for 5 minutes to process. Remove the jars to the folded towel and do not disturb for 12 hours, except to check the seal after one hour by pressing down on the center of each lid; if it can be pushed down it hasn’t sealed, and must be refrigerated immediately. After 12 hours, label sealed jars & store.

After Pimp That Preserves, I find myself dressing my jars up in appropriate garb more often now. I think it’s very cute, plus you never know when someone will need to receive a jar.. & it’s nice to get something that looks as special as it tastes. I entered this lovely photoset in that contest back in early December. And uh, like I may have mentioned, I WON.

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I bought a gold wire-edged ribbon with sparkles that I thought embodied not only champagne but New Year’s. I just cut a length of it for each jar, gathered & stitched it together with a few tiny stitches, then I pinned or sewed on a specific little charm or trinket. The snowflake is a brooch, the recipient can remove it & wear it. The other sparkly one is a charm that can be removed & worn on a necklace (& it’s not as pink as it looks in the bottom picture, it’s bright & clear, like in the first). The little champagne bottle is a cupcake topper. I sent my mother’s friend Mara the snowflake jar with instructions that once the jar is opened, she can wear the brooch. I think that sorta thing is nice. Ultra-personal. Of course I had to label them in style too.

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It did in fact make 5 half-pint jars, but I kept two plain for my own use & decorated the rest for giving (& photographing). I don’t need to dress up my own jars. Sitting in my pantry they don’t get many flashbulbs going off. I’d rather make ‘em fancy when they’re going to a good home. I did end up sending one of the plain jars to Heather, so now I have just one extra jar left. And I think my friend Miss Melanie will end up with that one, since she seemed so enthused about it on Facebook. So my last, lonely little bottle of white wine from Pennsylvania ended up in New York, not to mention Florida & Texas reincarnated (& loved) as a delicious jelly. Talk about a “new start.”

I’ll be honest: 2011 sucked in a lot of ways, & I’m happy to bid her a not-so-fond farewell. But Cupcake Rehab has grown a lot this year, as have I, & that’s never a bad thing. I lost important people to me, but gained some. I expanded my knowledge in many areas, formed some new skills. It was a bittersweet year in too many ways to count. So many people have passed away, so many babies born. But new opportunities & new reasons for happiness are bound to come with the new year & therefore new reasons to be optimistic. That’s the best part- the mistakes & sorrows of last year are just that, & while they never really disappear, there’s hope for this new clean slate we’ve been given. I’m going to try & be more forgiving this year, however I’ll certainly not be a doormat. Life is short, why hold grudges or waste time or negative emotions or negative people? It’s a lot for me to strive for, I know that. Especially since I hate everyone (almost). But like I said… clean slate. One thing I will not be doing is cleaning up my potty mouth. I like my truck driver vocabulary. But I am going to make a conscious effort to weed out the unnecessary items & people in my life in 2012 and focus on only the necessary. Good riddance, ’11, here’s hoping 2012 is a far better- and healthier- year for all!

Happy New Year to all my readers, the old & loyal and the new & hopefully just as loyal alike. I really value every reader & commenter & “fan”; & I’ll continue to work very hard to make sure that you’re all still interested & not bored in the new year. Now let’s ring in this new year & enjoy some hooch like these two lovebirds… I’ll see you next year.

Photo: Mission Pie, San Francisco; credit: Dave Cook, Flickr

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So back before Thanksgiving, when I found out what the plans were/whose house it would be at & I was figuring out what to make & bring, I had a plan. My plan was that I was going to make two pies, hence the title of the post. Why was I going to make two pies, you ask? Well, a few reasons. One- I had recently acquired two new pie plates; one gorgeous Lola-pink 9″ pie plate from my wonderful friend Brianne (who sells Longaberger, the makers of the aforementioned pie plate which is no longer available in pink) and another beautiful eggplant-colored pie plate from Michael’s that I got for an obscenely low price. So low I won’t even tell you because you’ll hate me. But you see, the pink pie plate was important. It was especially important that I show it off properly. I ordered this cute little basketweave pink pie plate back in like, May or June, and I waited for it until October 30th… patiently. It was limited edition, immediately retired, the shipment was delayed & it was back-ordered & whatever else. And then it finally came & Brianne ever-so-kindly delivered it to me during a time when she was a bit otherwise preoccupied (her new house in Connecticut that her, her husband, her 3-year-old & her almost 2 month old newborn baby had literally just moved into was slammed by the freak October snowstorm & lost power for days). So this plate was a major thing for me. The other pie plate is lovely, and is a gorgeous color with a fluted ruffly edge, but it doesn’t match Lola or my website, so it doesn’t have as much significance. Anything that matches Lola is a must with me. My kitchen is not a masculine place, hah. Plus, being it was part of their breast cancer initiative, Horizon of Hope, & my mom is a survivor, the pink color has double significance.

Reason two for the pie dramatics: I like pie- not really fruit pies, but chocolate, Shoo-fly or creamy ones; like coconut cream, chocolate cream, etc. Those are the kinda pies I can get diggity down with. Just me, a pie, a fork & some whipped cream. And reason three? Because I have a ton of pie recipes that I’ve never made. For example, Nigella Lawson’s Girdlebuster Pie. Tell me you aren’t intrigued by the title alone! And there are tons more, some of which are very traditional, some not so much, and others slightly too complicated for an everyday pie. But nonetheless, I had these two pretty little pie plates & I so desperately wanted to use them. That said, I had all intentions of making two pies for Thanksgiving. But alas I did not. And why not? Because this one pie that I tested out in the few days before turkey day was so simple yet so amazing I couldn’t bear to make another. What was it? Maple syrup pie. MAPLE. SYRUP. PIE. Read it again: maple syrup pie. Thanks to that book by Patty Pinner that it came from, my pie-making life was changed. Seriously. This pie made me rethink my non-pie-making self. It took no time at all and yet there it was, smelling all fantastic &… maple-y. Like a Shoo-fly pie but maple. I’ve made some things from the book before (namely a lemon ice cream that was so creamy & delicious it was like frozen lemony perfection) but this is just… so crazily simple & yet so delicious. I just don’t even know. But… *sigh* …unfortunately, the pie didn’t photograph well, and didn’t last very long either, admittedly. It did taste like sticky, sweet, gooey heaven on a plate.

However… it just didn’t look very good in pictures. Actually it looked downright awful; kinda poo-ish. And I used the eggplant colored pie plate, so it was all kind of dark. If you’re a blogger who takes pictures of food you know things like shoo-fly pie, pecan pie, chocolate frosting & chocolate cookies are the hardest things to photograph well. Especially in bad lighting, and my kitchen sadly has horrid lighting. And on top of that, like I said, it definitely didn’t last long enough for me to attempt another photo shoot in better light. So I was on to my next (& newer) plan: another pie. I didn’t know what kind, yet, but I just knew I’d have to use these pie plates for something photogenic & post-able!

And so Halloween came & went. Then I made the maple syrup pie, then Thanksgiving passed, & no more pie. Two batches of cupcakes instead. Then it started to inch closer to Christmas, and still no pie. Cupcakes, gingerbread cookies, brownies, etc… but I still hadn’t found the perfect pie. I kinda stopped looking for one in all the holiday hubbub. The pie plates looked more & more lonely every day. And then… crustless cranberry pie came into my life.

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They say you find it when you’re not looking. Whatever “it” is.

See back before Christmas, Rosella, a friend of mine who I’ve known since freshman year of high school (which is far longer ago than I’d like to admit) had me & my mother over for coffee with her & her mom (& Rosella’s one year old baby, Giovanna). I know Rosella so long I remember when her niece was Giovanna’s age. I know her from back when we wore spike bracelets to school, when she dyed her hair green in her mom’s white bathroom sink & we “borrowed” her parents’ Infiniti to go joyriding a few too many times. I could mortify us both by posting a picture of us way back then but I won’t. And anyway, we’re talking about pie. So we all got together & Rosella served this crustless cranberry pie. Wow. SOLD. And I don’t even like cranberry. Forreals. Cranberry, almond, streusel… it was like a berry crumble-type thing. Like a coffee cake. Made in a pie plate. And it was so good. So that night I asked her for the recipe & she told me it was from AllRecipes.com! So I downloaded the app immediately. My faith in recipe websites has been restored.

CRUSTLESS CRANBERRY PIE (courtesy of Jean at All Recipes, with alterations)

Ingredients:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour plus 2 tablespoons set aside for topping
• 1 cup white sugar
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 1 cup whole fresh cranberries (or whole frozen)
• ½ cup sliced almonds, divided, half set aside for topping
• ⅓ cup brown sugar
• ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
• ½ cup butter, melted, plus 2 tablespoons butter just softened, set aside for topping
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten
• ¾ teaspoon vanilla extract
• ¼ teaspoon almond extract

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350° degrees F. Grease one 9″-inch pie pan (or 8″ x 8″ glass baking dish).
2. Combine the 1 cup flour, white sugar, cinnamon and salt. Stir in the cranberries and half the almonds, and toss to coat. Stir in the ½ cup melted butter, beaten eggs, vanilla and almond extracts. If you are using frozen cranberries, the mixture will be very thick. Spread the batter into the prepared pan.
3. In a small bowl, mix the 2 tablespoons flour, 2 tablespoons softened butter, brown sugar & ¼ cup almonds together to make a streusel-like topping. Sprinkle mixture on top of pie.
4. Bake at 350° degrees F for 40 minutes, or until a wooden pick inserted near the center comes out clean.

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This would be great with fresh blueberries in the summer, too. Or raspberries, or blackberries, or even chopped strawberries… with a bit of lemon zest. Totally adaptable. The original recipe calls for walnuts, but I took the advice of the commenters & went with almonds since that’s what Rosella did with her version, so if you prefer walnuts then that’s okay too. It’d probably be great in any capacity. I can even see it with a spoonful of fresh berry jam on it, or vanilla ice cream. Served warm or room temperature, with coffee, tea or cranberry ginger ale, it’s fantastic any way you like it. I scaled back the amount of cranberries from two cups to one, because I felt like one cup was just fine. Feel free to add the full two cups. But even if you don’t, and you end up with a practically full bag of cranberries, you can make tons of other neat cranberry stuff- amaretto cranberry sauce, pomegranate cranberry sauce, cranberry muffins (this recipe would work excellently in muffin form), cranberry bliss bars, etc. Or even make a second pie. I mean, this is a pie you can have for breakfast.

Photo: Lauretta Jean’s + Café Vélo, Portland; credit: Leela Cyd Ross

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It’s true- I had it for breakfast, around 10 a.m., that day at Rosella’s mom’s house. It’s a dessert, it’s a breakfast, it’s a pie, it’s a cake. It’s everything. So really, where have you been all my life, crustless cranberry pie? The dish that made me like cranberries. Sorta. I’m still not big on them, but this pie definitely made me rethink my almost 30-year long cranberry strike. I made it for my “second Christmas” yesterday & it was a massive hit. And in my beautiful pink pie plate! Squee. Best of all? This one was extremely photogenic. And I’m no master pie-maker, I’m totally more a cake-girl than anything else, but because this is more like a coffee cake you don’t have to be a master pie-maker! No pesky crust, no bothersome filling. Easy as 1-2-3. You don’t even have to make it in a pie plate. But when you have such a pretty one like I do, why not?

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Clearly the mathematical reference in the title is purely for satirical reasons. I failed math one semester in high school, it shames me to say. I got a whopping 35 on one of my math regents. I’m not bragging, and I am certainly not proud of it. I can’t help it though, I use the other side of my brain. I got a 90 on my History Regents, an 88 on Chemistry and a 92 on English. But you give me a math equation involving numbers & my mind shuts off. This doesn’t make baking difficult at all, though, because of a bevy of apps that provide me with the exact measurements & equivalents that I need, if I should need them (most of them I have memorized by now). I never thought I’d say it but my iPhone has made my life considerably easier, thank you Jay. So yes, I know the term 2πr, and that it means that the radius squared multiplied by pi (π) or 3.14 or ²²⁄₇, equals the circumference of a circle. However that’s where my knowledge ends. Don’t even ask about my problems with the Pythagorean Theorem. I was pretty decent at truth tables but linear pairs? Forget it. Yes, I pity my future children too; they will be seeking math homework help from the internet. Or iPad apps. But that’s okay, because they will be so insanely excellent in History & English they’ll really frighten you. As well as correct your grammar.

So really, I did make two pies. Just not at the same time, and nowhere near the same type. Pie(s) are squared.

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No recipes today, just pictures. Those are my grandparents, above, with my uncle as a little boy. How A Christmas Story is that picture!? All he needs is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, carbine-action & a thing that tells time. Although he seems pretty into that gun he’s got.

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And that’s my mom as a little girl, with the first artificial tree my grandfather bought. My grandma hated it, they only used it twice. But they did put up like 4 trees… so it was no great loss.

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And these. These are my Christmas cupcakes this year… little winter wonderlands on top of some rich, chocolaty cupcakes. I thought they were so serene looking with their snowy landscapes.

I also wanted to wish all my “fans” & Twitter followers & readers the happiest & healthiest holiday possible. You’re all really important to me, I’ve met so many wonderful and amazing people through this blog and having this outlet and the support & kind comments I’ve received from people has helped me get through a difficult holiday season. I thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy what I have to say in the coming new year.

So on that note, I hope you & yours have a very happy, healthy holiday season. I’ll see you after Christmas, punks.

Credits:

· Deer toppers & tree toppers from Layer Cake Shop

· Edible clear glitter from Divine Baking Supplies

· Red foil liners from Sweet Cuppin’ Cakes Bakery & Cupcakery Supply

· Cupcake boxes from Bake-A-Box

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I’ve heard a lot recently about keeping traditions alive, especially after someone has passed away. For me it’s important. Vital, even. And that’s been something that has always been important in my family. The year my great-grandfather Tom died in late November (my grandmother’s father), her & my grandpa put up a Christmas tree. A smaller one, but still. The year her mother Mary passed away right before Halloween, her brother still passed out candy at the house because it was his mother’s favorite holiday. To not do these things would feel wrong to us. However, everyone grieves differently. For us it’s important to continue with the things those people loved to do… we’d feel sadder & lonelier without them. To each his own. But for me, that’s how our ancestors & family members are kept alive. Making their recipes, using their decorations, etc. Doing the things they used to do & love. Preserving the traditions. My grandma loved Christmas, to not celebrate it would be wrong.

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Speaking of preserving…. in the last few days before Christmas, I thought I’d throw in three more ideas for seasonally appropriate jams/conserves/jellies. Perfect for gift-giving, as additions to the Christmas dinner/after-dinner spread, or for a Christmas Day brunch. All three are different, yet totally Christmas-y. And in case you’re wondering…

Conserves are made with dried fruits and nuts and are cooked. They have a very thick and chunky texture. Conserves work very well as a spread and as a condiment for meats and cheeses.

Jam is a thick mixture of fruit, pectin, and sugar that is boiled gently but quickly until the fruit is soft and has an organic shape, yet is still thick enough that it spreads easily and can form a blob. In addition to being a spread, jams are also good for fillings.

Jelly is made from sugar, pectin, acid, and fruit juice and is a clear spread that is firm enough to hold its shape. Jellies can also be made from ingredients other than fruit, such as herbs, tea, wine, liqueurs, flowers, and vegetables.

- source: TheKitchn

Does that clear up the confusion? So anyway, like I said, three recipes. Yes. I said THREE. Three whole recipes today. I must be crazy, right? Three recipes for three different types of jarred up, old timey, homestyle holiday fare. I guess you could say this post is a trifecta of awesomeness. Or a triple threat. Whatever it is- it rocks.

Those are regular size cupcake liners used as lid covers!

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First up is the conserve; made with dried figs, dried plums & walnuts. The recipe was sent to me by my friend Chrisie who found it in an old cookbook of her grandma’s. I used whole dried Black Mission figs & Plum Amazins’ diced dried plums myself- the original recipe calls for two types of dried figs. I had the plums & figured why the hell not. My mother is a big fig person, so these were made specifically as a gift for her. I’m giving you the original recipe in it’s entirety, with any modifications I did in parentheses.

FIG (& PLUM) & WALNUT CONSERVE

Makes roughly 8 half pints

Ingredients:

• 1 cup packed dried black figs
• 3 cups boiling water
• 1 cup packed dried California figs, or any medium light brown figs (I substituted Plum Amazin dried plums)
• 1 medium orange, both the juice & the fruit (I used just the juice from a small orange, since I used slightly more figs than called for, I didn’t think I needed extra pulp or fruit)
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 2 cups packed light brown sugar (I used half light brown, half dark brown)
• 1 cup water
• ½ cup white wine (I omitted this)
• ⅓ cup apple cider vinegar
• 1 ½ cups toasted walnuts, chopped (I didn’t toast them, I just tossed them in and let them cook with the fruit)
• 1 teaspoon ground sage (I used cardamom instead, only ½ teaspoon)

Directions:

1. Snip the stems off the figlets and place in a large bowl along with the boiling water for 30 minutes. Slice the California figs in half (if using the Plum Amazin’s there’s no need to do that, they’re already diced) and place in a large pan along with the figlets and fig water.
2. Cut the orange in half; juice half and dice the remaining half, including rind, into small pieces. Add the orange juice to the pan. Mix in the remaining ingredients, except the walnuts and sage (or, like I used, cardamom). Bring the mixture to a boil and cook for 5 minutes. Mix in the walnuts and sage and cook for an additional 10 minutes (I let it cook down longer, so it was a much thicker consistency). Spoon the fig and walnuts into clean, hot jars, pressing down.
3. Ladle the juice over the fruit, leaving ½”-inch headroom. Wipe the rims clean and seal. Invert the jars for 10 minutes. Restore to an upright position and cool. Check the seals, label and store in a cool, dry place for up to 1 year.

Since it’s an old recipe, and it relies on the inversion method, you might want to add in about 15 minutes processing time in a water bath canner. Unless you’re not anal about these things. I know the USDA would say otherwise, but this recipe is old & I doubt anyone died from it. Still & all I’d hate to be responsible for anyone croaking from preserves.

And next… the big ol’ boozehound of the crew: vanilla-brandy chestnut jam. This smelled so good cooking on the stove, it took everything in my power to not eat it. Seriously. As it was cooking, I wanted to just eat it right out of the pot. Then once the brandy was added… well, forget it. It seems like this is a pretty insane jam. Very rich, very dessert-like.

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VANILLA-BRANDY CHESTNUT JAM

Makes about 8 pints

Ingredients:

• 2 ¾ lbs. peeled chestnuts, chopped
• 1 vanilla bean (or 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract)
• 3 cups light brown sugar
• 2-3 tablespoons brandy (depending on taste)

Directions:

1. Put peeled chestnuts and vanilla bean (or extract) in large sauce pan and just cover with water. Cover pan and bring to a boil; simmer until chestnuts are tender (about 30 min.). Remove and set aside vanilla bean. Drain chestnuts, reserving cooking liquid.
2. Put chestnuts, sugar, and about 5 tablespoons cooking liquid in heavy pan. Split vanilla bean and scrape out seeds; add seeds and bean to pan. Heat mixture gently, stirring & gently “smooshing” the chestnuts (don’t worry if they remain in little chunks), until sugar is dissolved, then raise heat and boil until mixture is thick. Remove and discard vanilla bean (if used); stir in brandy.
3. Ladle hot jam into sterilized jars, seal, and process in water bath for 10 minutes.

If you prefer a smoother jam, without chunks, then purée the chestnuts before step 2. I like jams to have chunks of fruit (in this case nuts) in ‘em, so I left the pieces of chestnut. And I’ll be honest here & say I bought pre-peeled chestnuts. I could not sit there & do that until my fingers bled… that’s dedication. I just like to reap the benefits. Plus, I scaled it back to make just 4 4-oz. jars, so for that small amount of chestnuts it’s kinda silly to go through all that. But certainly do as you wish.

And finally… last but not least… Gingerbread spice jelly! Made from TEA. Who’da thunk it? This is a fantastic idea, one of those “Why didn’t I think of that?” type of deals. As soon as I saw this in Taste of Home magazine, I ripped it out & circled it.

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GINGERBREAD SPICE JELLY (courtesy of Robin Nagel from Taste of Home magazine, December 2011)

Makes 5 half pints

Ingredients:

• 2 ½ cups water
• 18 individual gingerbread spice tea bags (I used Celestial Seasonings’ Gingerbread Spice tea because it’s the only one I know of!)
• 4 ½ cups sugar
• ½ cup unsweetened apple juice
• 2 teaspoons butter
• 2 pouches (3 oz. each) liquid fruit pectin

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan, bring water to a boil. Remove from the heat; add tea bags. Cover and steep for 30 minutes.
2. Discard tea bags. Stir in the sugar, apple juice and butter. Bring to a full rolling boil over high heat, stirring constantly. Stir in pectin. Boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly.
3. Remove from heat; skim off foam. Carefully ladle hot mixture into hot jars, leaving ¼”-inch headspace. Remove air bubbles; wipe rims and adjust lids. Process for 10 minutes in a boiling water canner (adjust that for your altitude). Let cool on a tea towel for 12 hours. Check seal. (Recipe author says jelly may take up to 2 weeks to fully set- mine set as soon as it cooled)

Since these are all wrapped up & ready to be given as gifts, I can’t tell you how any of them taste yet. But I’m sure they’re both amazing. From what I saw & smelled, I think the fig conserves would be excellent on a cracker with a piece of cheese (maybe even on a sour cream pound cake), and the chestnut jam would probably be awesome with a piece of pound cake or over vanilla ice cream. Now the jelly… hmm… I’d say on warm toast with a cup of tea. But I also kinda wanna say that it’d be great in thumbprint cookies.

Speaking of wrapped up- if you want to do this with your preserves as an easy way of jazzing ‘em up, wait until after the 12-24 hours are up and you’re sure they’re cooled & sealed. Then just unscrew the band, place a cupcake liner on the top & screw the band back on. Totally simple! And after seeing all the amazing entries in Well Preserved‘s Pimp That Preserve contest, you might have been inspired to start pimpin’ your jars… but you just didn’t know where to start! Well this is an easy way. Then you can just tie a ribbon on it, put a label on & you’re done. Although I happen to think the homemade labels & little penguin stickers on my Gingerbread jelly are mighty cute, too (they’re from the scrapbooking section of Michael’s). Be creative. Take it from a 2011 Pimp That Preserve winner *wink* The best thing about giving jars of treats like these as gifts is that unlike cake, cupcakes, cookies or bread, there’s no expiration date. Well there is, but it’s so far in the future no one has to feel the need to eat it all in one week!

Maybe Santa would like a jar of one of these instead of the usual cookies this year?

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Don’t you love espresso? I do. Well, I love coffee of all kinds. One of the best gifts Jay ever got me was my Keurig. Yes- I am aware that I have said that about both Lola, my laptop (a.k.a. “June Carter”) & most recently my iPhone (through all my Andy Rooney-like anti-iPhone “you are all sheeple” grumblings I’ve come to realize this thing is amazing), but it’s kinda sick how much I love this Keurig. He gives good gifts, what can I say? I definitely inherited my love of coffee from my parents, despite wondering as a child how people could drink so much of it in one day when they could just have a can of Coke. They weren’t the kind of people that had one cup at 8 a.m. & the coffee machine was cold until the next morning, they were the kind of people who had cup after cup after cup all day long. And I never understood that.

Until now. Things have changed. I love coffee, I love fancy coffee, I love frapps, I love cappuccino, I love it all. But sometimes I just enjoy a simple espresso. And sometimes… I like some frothy milk on top.

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So yeah, I like coffee. I find it’s pretty much a perfect match for anything- cookies, cupcakes, cakes, pies, muffins, even ice cream. But for the purposes of this post, I had it with some panettone. Yes, panettone. What could go better with espresso than panettone?

Panettone (pronounced /pænəˈtoʊni/^[1]) is a type of sweet bread loaf originally from Milan (in Milanese it is called panaton),^[2] usually prepared and enjoyed for Christmas and New Year in Italy, Malta, Brazil, Germany and Switzerland, and is one of the symbols of the city of Milan. Maltese nationals are also traditionally associated with this sweet loaf. In Latin America, especially in Venezuela, Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay, Brazil, Ecuador, Bolivia, Chile, Colombia and Peru, it is a Christmas dinner staple and in some places replaces roscón de reyes/bolo rei (King cake).

It has a cupola shape, which extends from a cylindrical base and is usually about 12-15 cm high for a panettone weighing 1 kg. Other bases may be used, such as an octagon, or a frustum with star section shape more common to pandoro. It is made during a long process that involves the curing of the dough, which is acidic, similar to sourdough. The proofing process alone takes several days, giving the cake its distinctive fluffy characteristics. It contains candied orange, citron, and lemon zest, as well as raisins, which are added dry and not soaked. Many other variations are available such as plain or with chocolate . It is served in slices, vertically cut, accompanied with sweet hot beverages or a sweet wine, such as Asti or Moscato d’Asti. In some regions of Italy, it is served with crema di mascarpone, a cream made from mascarpone, eggs, sometimes dried or candied fruits, and typically a sweet liqueur such as amaretto; if mascarpone cheese is unavailable, zabaione is sometimes used as a substitute.

Efforts are underway to obtain Protected Designation of Origin and Denominazione di origine controllata status for this product, but, as of late 2008, this had not occurred.^[3] Italian Agriculture Minister Paolo De Castro was looking at ways to protect the real Italian cakes from growing competition in Latin America and whether they can take action at the World Trade Organization.

-Wikipedia

But no, this is not the stuff that comes in a box that you can find in every Italian family’s home at this time of year. This is homemade stuff, made with ingredients that make it practically irresistible to me; chocolate chips. I’m personally not big on the dried fruit or citron thing. But when I saw the recipe I knew I’d have to alter it to suit me. It’s made in a buttered brown bag… how the hell was I supposed to resist? So here’s my version of panettones… little ones that are easier to give (and eat!).

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CHOCOLATE CHIP MINI-PANETTONE’S

Makes 7

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon warm water
• 1 envelope active dry yeast (about 1 scant tablespoon)
• 1 ¼ cups flour, plus more for dusting
• 2 tablespoons warm milk
• 2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons sugar
• 1 large eggs
• 2 egg yolks
• pinch salt
• ¼ teaspoon pure vanilla
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold
• ½ cup chocolate chips
• ¾ teaspoon heavy cream

Directions:

1. Pour warm water into a bowl, and sprinkle with half of the yeast. Stir with a fork until yeast has dissolved, then let stand until foamy, 5 to 10 minutes.
2. Stir in ⅛ cup flour, and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let stand in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 30 minutes.
3. Pour warm milk into a bowl, and sprinkle with remaining yeast. Stir with a fork until yeast has dissolved, then let stand until foamy, 5 to 10 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk together sugar, whole egg, 1 egg yolk, salt, and vanilla. Whisk in milk mixture.
4. Beat butter and remaining flour with a mixer fitted with a dough hook on medium speed until mixture is crumbly. Reduce speed to low, and gradually add egg mixture. Raise speed to medium, and beat until smooth. Add yeast-and-flour mixture, and beat on high speed until dough is elastic and long strands form when it’s stretched, about 5 minutes (it will still be very sticky.) Stir in chocolate chips.
5. Transfer to a buttered bowl, and cover with buttered plastic wrap. Let dough stand in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 2 hours. Preheat oven to 400° degrees, with rack in lower third. Turn dough out onto a floured surface, and divide into 7 little portions of dough. Knead a few times, then shape into balls. Drop each ball into a buttered brown paper mold (see below for directions) and loosely cover with buttered plastic wrap. Let rise in a warm place until rises slightly to the top, about 30 to 45 minutes. Whisk remaining yolk with cream, and brush onto tops of balls. Cut an X in the top of each ball with kitchen shears (I didn’t do this).
6. Bake 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350° degrees, and bake until tops are golden brown and rise slightly above rims of molds, about 15 minutes. Tent baking sheet with foil if tops are beginning to get too brown. Transfer panettone to a wire rack to cool. Panettone can be stored in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Pre-baking, & pre-egg wash!

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Recipe can be doubled, probably tripled too, FYI.

Okay so what I did was I cut up some brown paper lunch bags & used those as the “liners” or molds. It’s really easy, all you have to do is cut circle-squares (uneven circles or rounded squares) or tear them. Melt about 4-5 tablespoons butter and get a pastry brush ready. Then check & see if the paper fits in your muffin pan. If it doesn’t, trim it, if it does, butter it by brushing it on one side generously with butter & place it in a cavity, pressing down so it stays in place. Then plop a ball of dough on top of it. So simple. But you can also use these liners as well, if the whole DIY thing isn’t your bag (no pun intended). And if you’re a stickler, you can use real panettone paper molds. However I like to be very hands-on & creative, its a good outlet, & I’m always doing shit like this so for me it was a snap. If you do choose to DIY it, then use an old muffin tin. That’s what I did because I like my new ones to stay nice & clean & shiny. I keep an old one around for when I make pupcakes or popovers or stuff like this.

You can also substitute any dried fruits for the chocolate chips, and also add lemon or orange zest to the batter. But just so you know, the first batch of 7 that I made went all in one night.

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Super easy, really. And delicious. Let’s face it, edible gifts are sometimes the best gifts. Like I said before- homemade jellies/jams/marmalades, breads, cookies & even homemade limoncello or vanilla extract can make a great gift. It doesn’t take much to personalize an edible gift. I happen to think homemade gifts are worth more than bought gifts, if there was time & effort obviously put into it. Someone once said the greatest gift a person can give you is their time, and if they made you a really beautiful homemade gift then that’s exactly what they did.

And I don’t mean a piece of construction paper with glitter on it, either. That’s only acceptable if you’re 10 or younger, sorry.

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