“We… try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.”
-Will Ferrell, ‘Elf’
It may not be Christmas at all yet, far from it actually. But every time I see candy corn I think of that quote from the movie ‘Elf.’ I can’t help it. I know, I know, the retail establishments start pushing Christmas on you quick enough as it is, you don’t need me talking about it on October 20th. That was wrong of me. I’m sorry. Genuinely. I should know better.
But what I’m not sorry about is candy corn vodka.
Yup. Vodka. With candy corn. I hope this makes up for mentioning Christmas two months early. Basically, you place candy corn in some vodka and what do you know? After anywhere from a few days to a week, you get orange-colored candy corn flavored vodka.
I’m not a major vodka person. The last time I had more than one small glass of vodka or rather I should say: the last time I had vodka straight up, not mixed with anything, it was a green apple flavored Smirnoff variety. Apple flavored vodka straight up in a red Solo cup (Toby Keith has nothing on me). It was a Friday night and I was sitting cross-legged on the table in a tiny, cramped, too hot dorm kitchen at F.I.T., before I headed over to CBGB‘s with some friends. Super punk rock. But really, I don’t think I even need to elaborate on any of that statement, do I? No. I think it pretty much speaks for itself. I also don’t think I need to say how long ago that was. I’ve already shown my age numerous ways there in that statement. ‘Cause, really? Apple flavored vodka? Sheesh. How early ’00′s of me. I’m also not going to name names & incriminate anyone I was with seeing as how alcohol on school premises is strictly forbidden & we may or may not have been of legal drinking age (do as I say, not as I do, children).
I knew there was a better use for candy corn than snacking on them absentmindedly while watching horror films & polishing off an entire bag. Now you can get drunk absentmindedly while watching horror films. Just put the candy corn (maybe 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of them) into a jar (I used an 8-ounce jar, if you use a larger one, double or triple the amount of corn) and pour in vodka. Let it sit for a week, then shake it, strain it, and use it! Great for a Halloween party, dontcha think? Slap a cute label on it and you’ve got yourself a great prop too. Like my jar of brains. No less awesome, but slightly less gross-sounding. Unless you give it a creepy name… like Ghost Pee. Haha. Ghost Pee. As a matter of fact, you can download some great labels for free on the internet; here & here are great choices, and this one here has a great idea for a more intricate do-it-yourself design, and then of course you can always buy pre-made ones at Michael’s or another craft store. Martha Stewart usually has some really cool ones.
So yeah, anyway, I’m not hugely into vodka. And not because the aforementioned college incident left a bad taste in my mouth, either, no pun intended. I guess I’m just not into it. I’d prefer beer I suppose if given the choice. However… the possibility of whipped cream flavored vodka or candy corn friggin’ vodka is kinda exciting, I’m not gonna lie. By the way, mucho thanks to Melanie who first gave me this idea last year. I’ve waited one whole year to get this shizzle a brewin’… so let’s party! You can serve it in a martini glass rimmed with black crystal sugar, and maybe an orange & black candy stirrer? Or a candy corn on a toothpick? Or you can make a cocktail using it, like this one from the Food Network.
Speaking of partying, don’t forget to enter my Sourpuss Clothing Dia de los Muertos giveaway… it ends on the 25th, so get in there & enter. Also, I’m now a contributing author to a brand new group blog, textdrivebys.com. Come by and say hello!