This is the basic bitch pickle recipe. Super plain, super easy. No bells and whistles. Just cukes and spices and dill and vinegar. I decided to post it again because it’s been a while, and the most recent pickles I made included either beer or whiskey, so thats alienating a lotta folks who just want a simple ol’ pickle.

I swear, I’m gonna go back to using my camera for this blog someday. For now, iPhone X life folks.

Now these are CANNED pickles. Meaning you need to waterbath process them for shelf stability. If you don’t know how to do that, you’re gonna end up with four pints of pickles in your fridge. Which isn’t a bad thing at all, if you love pickles. But do you have the room for that?

Also If you’re not canning them, you can experiment with the type of vinegar you use. You can also add random herbs and spices to it to customize it. If you’re canning them do not do this. Make the recipe as written. Or else go ahead and risk dying of botulism. Whatever.

If you have no idea what canning is and how to start… well lucky for you, I have an app for that! Here’s an entire post about it.

MARILLA’S BASIC CANNED PICKLES

Makes 4 pints or 2 quarts

Ingredients:

• 8-10 small pickling cucumbers (about 3 pounds)
• 2 cups white vinegar
• 2 cups water
• 2 tablespoons pickling salt
• 4 heads fresh dill or 4 teaspoons dill seeds
• 1 teaspoon pickling spice (divided into fourths)
• 4 cloves garlic

Directions:

1. Cut a thin slice from the ends of each cucumber. This prevents a “mushy” pickle, as the ends of cucumbers contain an enzyme that makes them mushy. Place jars in canner to sterilize them and place lids in hot water to soften seal.
2. Meanwhile, combine vinegar, water, and salt in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Remove hot jars from canner. Place 1 head fresh dill or 1 tsp dill seeds, 1/4 teaspoon pickling spice, and 1 clove garlic into each jar; pack in cucumbers.*
3. Pour boiling vinegar mixture over cucumbers to within 1/2 inch of rim (head space). Process 10 minutes for pint jars and 15 minutes for quart jars.
4. 4 Allow jars to sit for one week before opening for optimal flavor.

*If using quart jars, put 1/2 teaspoon pickling spice and two cloves of garlic in each jar.

If you want to make fermented pickles- like half sours or Kosher dills- then follow your nose to this recipe. If you want more inspiration for refrigerator non-canned pickles, go here. If you’re not interested in pickles at all and don’t know what you’re doing on this page, go here.

If you’re looking for crafts involving Ball jars, go here.

Soundtrack: “Say Something” – Justin Timberlake Ft. Chris Stapleton

Sources & credits: All jars by Kerr® and Ball®.